The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't know why this is happening. All day I've been planning on going to my second f2f. I'm an hour and a half away from leaving and my head is telling me why bother? He's gone and most likely will never return. You can go back to your strong self confident self now. Yet I believe that working the steps will help me. I cant stop the madness in my head. He'll be back. He won't be back. He loves you. He's better off without you. You love him. You're better off without him. ...You get the idea.
My heart KNOWS that these answers will come from my HP in His time. That said, I can't stop the insanity. Praying all day. Thinking all day. Trying to do ANYTHING to stop the fear of actually not having him in my life.
I am hopeful we get the report back that she's been to the meeting!!
We all have hope for it to happen....power in numbers?
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Progress not perfection. You sound stuck in the middle darling. Were here with you. Your meetings are just for you, wonderful, deserving, progressing you. If your head kept you prisoner just for today, tomorrow is another day. Keep coming back xoxo
I just logged in and am hoping you made it to the meeting. In my experience, the consuming thoughts and patterns did not go away with the alcoholic... I just replaced him with another, and another, and another. I'm back in the rooms, f2f and here, because I don't want to be consumed anymore.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I just returned from the meeting. Since last week was my first, I was taken outside to talk to two members. By the time we returned the meeting had ended. So this was first "all group" meeting. They saw that I was still shaking and crying and I got many hugs. Never realized how hugs from strangers could fill my soul!
The meeting was about slogans. Each that spoke looked directly at me. Made me feel so good and far less hopeless. When it came to my turn I was prepared to pass. Instead, something that Debb had said in another post came to mind. I told them that I found QTIP to be both useful and cute. One member said that she had never heard that one and liked it too!
My A always says that his HP has a sense of humor (as does mine). A lot of my apprehension on going to the meeting is because it begins a half hour after his AA meeting ends. I haven't spoken to him for almost two weeks. Our mutual friend had told him that I had attended last weeks meeting. Don't know and didn't ask what his reaction was because this is about me. Anyway, I purposely left my house early, drove a really round about way and BAM! There he was driving past me - blocks away from the meeting and ten minutes before his should have ended. Guess it goes to prove that I've got NO CONTROL over anything!! LOL. 😀😀😀
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I just want to share with you a miracle that happened last night. I've been trying to keep busy and away from the insanity in my head. I took my dog to the park last night and brought my Courage To Change that I had just purchased at my second f2f. As I sat there reading it, another dog owner sat near me and struck up a conversation. We talked about dogs and her cats and then she asked what I was reading. I ended up "downloading" everything that I was going thru (probably too much info for someone I had never met). She listened intently and then told me that she was married to an A. She is clearly a spiritual person and spoke about how we must love one another regardless of what we perceive to be shortcomings. She asked me where I had gotten the book so I told her about Al-Anon, how I was new to it, my trepidation on going to the meetings, etc. In the long run, she is now considering joining me next Monday!
Wow! That is amazing and wonderful. I have always gotten strength from the Al-Anon saying "Do the next right thing." Just think, you did the next right thing and now someone else who needs help and support has the seed planted for her to do the next right thing and embark on her healing. What amazing results little actions can have.
Earlier in the week I saw this. "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." That has kept me going. That's what I love about Al Anon and all of this. So many people try to hide pain after a relationship or something. Pain will come and go but we are only in control of ourselves. What you do with the pain you are in control of. I pray things get better for you lostandscared, I have been there before!
My own recovery needed to continue even after my AH was gone from my life. I needed to unwind my side of things. I am work in progress- "progress not perfection." (((HUGS)))
Thanks for sharing your cool encounter! That's so super neato to hear about HP in action.
Many, many thanks for taking the time to tell us about it. My hope is she joins you and you have a new program friend!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
So glad you went to your meeting and had such a great experience regarding it all!! It's really amazing when it comes down to it addiction touches so many of us and most people think that it's only them.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Here's another slogan that gets shared often at my home group meetings:
"If I'm thinking about going to a meeting, I need to stop thinking and GO to the meeting. Afterwards I will have discovered that my thinking has improved."
LOVE the way HP worked through you in the dog park! It is so cool to realize that all we have to do is report to duty and HP will handle the rest.
I don't know why this is happening. All day I've been planning on going to my second f2f. I'm an hour and a half away from leaving and my head is telling me why bother? He's gone and most likely will never return. You can go back to your strong self confident self now. Yet I believe that working the steps will help me. I cant stop the madness in my head. He'll be back. He won't be back. He loves you. He's better off without you. You love him. You're better off without him. ...You get the idea. 
