The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just got a letter (online) from the child support agency to say that as of next January, due to my daughter's graduation from child to teenager, child support payments will increase.. A LOT. They assume teenagehood equals high-school equals increased costs.. Better late than never I suppose! I checked it out thoroughly and it's legitimate and not contestable. And now that I have the agency collecting from him on my behalf, there's no getting out of it. It's pay or have your wages garnished. Cool
The timing of the letter is odd. On a Sunday morning? Just as daughter's tournament being scheduled for the last full weekend with her father was surprisingly poor timing...for him.
All of this has to be really enraging the beast, and even though it's all good news for my child and I, my immediate reaction is one of fear and dread. How will he retaliate seems to be the constant question on my mind at present.
Must let go!
Must trust that this is all happening at once because the time is right and I have support in place now to deal with any aggression.
Tools, anyone?
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
The immediate tools that came to my mind are Let Go and Let God and/or One Day at a Time!
You do have the support in place IF there is any retaliation or drama from him.
You have a program that you are working hard at and hard for.
You have us (MIP friends) as added support.
You most likely will hear unpleasantness from him. But - that's his disease which brings me to the 3 Cs - you did nothing to cause the letter, you can't control the government and you didn't cause any of this. It just is.
Be at peace with all that you've done to improve life for you and daughter and trust your HP - it's all exactly as it should be!
(((Hugs to ya girl)))! You got this!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi Ms.M. Please remember to not project, stay in the moment recall your assets and "This call may be recorded tool' as well as detachment, and responding and not reacting.
You got this. I am happy about the additional money. Thank you HP.
Glad you and