The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading speaks about how growing up in an alcoholic home contributed to an unhealthy inability to express anger. The writer expressed how difficult it was to show anger so instead it was stuffed down where it would grow into a serious resentment. A fear of authority figures developed as well. In this reading the writer describes how working the program and going to meetings helped him/her feel unconditional acceptance and was ultimatemy able to start expressing real feelings.
when I read this I thought about how expressing feelings in general has been difficult for me. Not specifically anger necessarily, but I know that my tendency is to be guarded with my feelings and I know that stems from growing up with alcoholism. I'm grateful to know that I can feel what I'm feeling without judgment.
The thought for the day sums all of this up so perfectly in my opinion: "When I suppress anger, I give it room to fester in my heart and mind, and it unravels my recovery."
Thanks Mary Learning how to feel feelings and to express them in a healthy manner(without judging and blaming others ) is a true gift of this program.
Appreciate your service and for sharing your thoughts.
the daily readers are One Day at a TIme in alanon, Courage to Change, and Hope for Today. Face to face meetings have been extremely helpful and an integral part of my recovery, but there are online meetings available through this site as well.
Lost and Scared, you could buy the books online. Amazon should have all of these books that can be shipped directly to you. If you go to face to face meetings, many will have these books for sale.
Yanksfan, thanks for sharing. I have found that I too squelch my feelings until I am ready to explode. By going to the meetings I have found the courage to slowly acknowledge these feelings, feel them and move on. What a blessing.
Thanks for the daily and your ESH! In my family of origin, we didn't really express much 'touchy and feely' stuff. By this, I mean, my parents never argued (in front of us), when we were hurt, we were told we were OK, and of course when we were scared or frightened or ... - it was dismissed.
So, I didn't really learn what feelings were and how to express much! As I began adolescence, I began abusing substances, and we learn in this program and the other side that it stunts emotional growth. The only emotion that ever came 'outward' for me was anger....
In working inventories for both sides, I truly had to learn to stop and feel. Instead of reacting in my patterned 'anger', I had to actually consider what had happened and what I really felt. It turns out that I often was fearful, sad, lonely, etc. but all that came out was snippy, angry stuff.
I am so grateful this program gives us so many tools to inventory our moments each day and choose a different way. I love that we have support and help when we ask for it, and I love that when we just don't know what we feel, we can talk to others who understand and can offer ESH. I know for me that holding onto any negative emotion just snowballs into a potentially ugly outward reaction if I don't work to address the reality of that situation in a timely manner.
Hugs to you and thanks for posting this!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
