The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am a raw nerve right now. New job is high presure...clients are sicker than sick, organizational chaos is huge...though to be expected with total staff turnover and new ownership. They are still understaffed and fired 2 therapists this week. Having busted ass to finish up the last job while working part time at the new job, stepping into chaos and a client census of 75 constantly relapsing heroin addicts....ugh. I have too much people pleasing in me and feel like I should be working right now to prove myself...not healthy. And after a weekend of constant inlaw drama the weekend prior. I feel hateful, irritable, and judgy and I don't like it. I know I need to relax and practice some self care and balance. Just checking in before my tank hits empty and working on recharging with help from you guys.
I remember being close to tears in a new job because I didn't know where the photocopier was! It is a challenge on so many levels - and yours is an especially challenging job, which is why, when you've recharged your batteries, you (and your fabulous awareness) will be such an asset to these folks. Give it, and yourself, time old friend!
Hang in there Mr. Pink. You have worked hard to amass the wisdom and experience that these clients need. I understand that that is a huge census, but hold on, because there are more lining up everyday. Sounds like the office is temporarily diseased. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, you can't cure it (all by yourself), but with all that you've been through, I have no doubts that you'll get through this.
Here's a little Kipling for yah:
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, dont deal in lies,
Or being hated, dont give way to hating,
And yet dont look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dreamand not make dreams your master;
If you can thinkand not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth youve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: Hold on!
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kingsnor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything thats in it,
Andwhich is moreyoull be a Man, my son!
It's the Blue moon, Pink. It's got everyone by the short hairs. Call me flakey, I don't care, it's true!! And thanks AT, I haven't read that in years. It's going on my desktop for the next few days. Nice choice.
-- Edited by missmeliss on Saturday 1st of August 2015 03:11:11 PM
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Hugs your way Pink, dysfunction and crazy are
Too much to bear for any length of time.
I do not envy you herion addicts yikes! I
Do elderly that is enough stress and anxiety
To deal with. I also deal with addictions too,
Not on your level though.
My tank is empty and i have nothing to give
From. I hope you find some relief soon. Its
Hard to get back to normal after being drained.
I have a hard edge right now too and i am not
happy About it but it has a life of its own. I do
Not like myself when i am like this and that
does not Help anything.
I think a two week vacation totally away from
It all would cure me. At least i can deam:)
After I chopped off my finger my daughter reminded me that before it happened I was complaining about being too busy- said all I wanted was time off and nothing to do - yeah, I got exactly what I wished for, the hard way! Now i'm much more careful because God is listening - ha! Accept the things you cannot change (in-laws?), gather your courage to change what you can and wisely understand what you can't and give yourself abreak!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Pink, to me one of the benefits of a community is that when one of us is spent, the others can pick up the task until the spent person fills up again. I have seen that when neighbors shovel the snow or bring dinners when there's been a death in the family, when congregation members watch the toddlers after the parents bring home the infant, etc.
With your new job, you might be the one who needs extra from your peeps for a while. Let your closest do for you - can you ask for help for anything outside of work that steals your vigor? it's just temporary until you command your domain and delegate work from the boss' standpoint. That will take a while to get enough information to make the correct decisions.
Sending you support in this period of transition. My money is on you.
Hugs pink, it sounds stressfull. Remember to eat. I have full confidence in your professional abilities; Rome wasn't built in a day and oh boy does this job sound like a landing in the deep end! Once you get your bearings though you'll be easily swimming.
Addictive tendencies do not stop for me with substances. I can quickly become a work-aholic, a shop-aholic, a food-aholic, etc......It's in my DNA.
Here's what I see -
1. They wouldn't have hired you if you weren't qualified.
2. Rome and/or that treatment center were not built in a day - good and bad parts.
3. Nobody but you expects it to be fixed faster than possible.
4. Progress, not perfection works well in the work-place too!
5. This is a great time to set boundaries for you and your new career - hours per day, new hires per week, etc. - whatever metrics make sense for YOU to be SUCCESSFUL at BALANCE are the smartest thing you can do FIRST for your new position.
6. You are not the problem-owner - you are the problem-solver.
7. You are capable, you are worthy, you are an expert in your field - but you are not HP....bring him each day for the ultimate leadership.
That's what I can think of 'quickly'. You knew it was in need of repair when you got the offer! They picked you to correct the issues, and you can with TIME, PATIENCE and your HP!
(((Hugs))) to you - chunk it into manageable pieces/parts and work on it one step at a time. You've got this!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
(((Mark)) You have received great responses. Loved "Yarn's" recommendaition as well as alamost there-- That bubble bath works wonders. You can do this.
It's early brother...you just started....just wait till they get a couple of months of you....woosah!! Is that the call of a wild something or other? (((hugs)))
You got this Pink and you work an excellent program! Change sends me spiraling at first and I have to climb out of my head and just take the next best step after another until I can look back and realize it's not as overwhelming one bite at a time. In-laws, big changes and dramatic Addicts all around~ you got this or rather HP has it!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Hang in there Mr. Pink. You have worked hard to amass the wisdom and experience that these clients need. I understand that that is a huge census, but hold on, because there are more lining up everyday. Sounds like the office is temporarily diseased. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, you can't cure it (all by yourself), but with all that you've been through, I have no doubts that you'll get through this.
Here's a little Kipling for yah:
If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, dont deal in lies, Or being hated, dont give way to hating, And yet dont look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dreamand not make dreams your master; If you can thinkand not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth youve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: Hold on!
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kingsnor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything thats in it, Andwhich is moreyoull be a Man, my son!
Feels chaotic and unstable here too! ð
Wanna trade?
Only a week iota two n right? You'll whip it's butt. You're one of my alanon heroes! (No pressure!)
You've been on my mind and I was going to ask how it was going at your new job! I am glad for you that you've concluded week 1 - way to go!!!
It will hopefully get better and better - you're in my thoughts and prayers!
PS - still loving that darn cute pup in your avatar!!! What a doll-face.....always brings a peaceful smile to my face when I click through and see that!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I can so relate to the need to prove oneself. This past year, I've had plenty of practice with managing volatility and chaos and have come to realize that proving myself comes when I slow down, take time to breathe, not force things, offer what I'm able to from my heart, and let go of outcomes. Not sure if that makes sense to you, but it is when I can offer the most to others. I imagine an alternative is donning a super-hero cape, but so far I haven't found one. Sending prayers.
))))