I just again wanted to provide an update. Yesterday, I decided I have to do something, rather than sit at home while the alcoholic BF slept. He was sober but loves his sleep. I decided to go attend an AA meeting as there is no Al-Anon meeting on weekends here in Canada where I live. It was the best thing I did for myself. I heard amazing messages. One of them was a man was talking about how when he was using alcohol he had the sick belief that the world was sick and he was ok. He says he had delusions and paranoia and since coming into recovery he realized it was him that was sick not the world. I was "Oh my" this is exactly what the bf believes. Another man said he was the problem. I was amazed how similar the addiction is and how it effects everyone. I was able to share in the meeting and felt the pressure come off me. The guilt,anger and shame. I felt free at the end of the meeting and so much more happier. I came home and felt amazing. I told the bf I am going to another meeting tonight at 8 pm and suddenly he jumped in and said I will go with you. I did not ask him to come at all. This is higher power in action. I thought lip service we shall see. We did attend the meeting but were 15 minutes late because bf was staling and taking his sweet time. We had to also locate the place. Amazing enough we made it and enjoyed the meeting. Then after the meeting we went to the hospital emergency to have pellets taken out of his head as it was starting to bother him (Monday night was out drinking and went to a party and was shot 6 times with a pellet gun  4 in head and one in chest and one in leg. The police are investigating) doctor at hospital said this is attempted murder and I said I do hope they catch who did this. The doctor said he could have been killed has it been a real gun. BF was drunk and taken to emergency and police did interview him there. I said as he was in hospital I do hope this is your bottom. He said it is but I dout that. Time will tell. He has to work tonight as he does night shift. I know he will remain sober all week till Saturday morning when he is of work for 24 hours and he will drink. I know right now i have to just keep doing what I have to for me and get to an al-anon meeting tomorrow night. All I know is this board is what got me out the door to a meeting where there is others who too are struggling. I had to share my gratitude to all of you for helping me! Its a day at a time and I have to remember that!