The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for July 4 is very interesting. It speaks about Tradition Three. This is the tradition that reminds us that the relatives of alcoholics when gathered together for mutual aid may call themselves an Al-Anon family group, provided that we do nothave any other affiliation. And that the only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.
The reading stresses that this Tradition explains two ways in which we as Al-Anon members can keep it simple.
One and most important is that we avoid being diverted from our program by others
Two --is to welcome to Al-Anon anyone who is suffering from the effects of another's drinking.
I believe that there is another important word in this Tradition. It states that we are gathered together for mutual aid. That means the program is afellowship of equals where each member is valuable as is their thoughts and their experience. There are no experts. Simply "equals" sharing a spiritual road
I love today's reminder - especially where it discusses that I do not have to dress, act, feel, speak, or work a certain way to belong. I am free to be myself. For me, this is huge as I can come in a good mood, a bad mood in street clothes or painting clothes and I will be accepted and not judged. I keep all my shoes in my garage on shelves. I run around in socks only inside, bare feet at times and/or slippers when it is cold. To more than one meeting, I have shown up in socks or slippers as I've been so distracted getting out the door and into my car.
In most instances, I would turn around and go home for them. But, headed to a fellowship meeting, I am not worried. Nobody cares what I wear - they only care that I am there.
What a gift! I love the reminder also that Al-Anon has come to my support - undiluted and with no strings attached - when I have needed it. I hope to pass it on in the same spirit.
It is Tradition 3 that allows us to listen with open ears and mind, take what makes sense and leave behind that which does not. It doesn't tell me to judge, get angry, be upset, stop coming, argue, get defensive, etc. - just to leave it behind. What a gift as it helps yet again for me to keep the focus on me and my behaviors/actions/reactions.
I was in a meeting this morning on FAITH. It was very obvious that faith has different meanings for different members. Some went to a discussion of religion while others discussed having faith in the program, steps, fellowship, etc. One person out of 30 decided that the meeting was too religion based, and pulled out a soap-box to remind everyone else what should not be discussed. We listened and then carried on in the spirit of the program. A few felt judged after because of the 'soapbox' (this member actually stated they were pulling out their soapbox), and I reminded them that ESH is always welcome and Tradition 3 gives us the gift of letting what other say go just as we let other things go.
I try to attend my program gatherings as if each person has a lesson to teach me. I am often amazed at what gifts I receive when I keep an open mind and stay present. This tradition helps me to understand that we all come from different places but all have similar goals. We travel our own path, in our own way and in our own time-frame. Again, what a gift!
Thanks Betty for the daily and your service!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Its a good reminder. I certainly am mindful lately of how easily I am diverted from my program and probably also create diversions. There's such an overwhelming compulsion to take advantage of a safe space sometimes after keepig everything secret for so long!
I love the "no experts" approach. That really helped me, to feel that the people helping and guiding me were also learning with me. It helped me step out of the "helpless child" role I seemed to take on whenever I sought help in the past.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
