The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
I define a Power greater than me as my HP = my God the Father. I truly believe that he loves and cares for everyone. I talk to him everyday in my prayers and expressions of gratitude for everything he has helped me with, including the lessons learned from my difficulties. The lessons have made a better and wiser person of me!!!
My plan for self-care includes part-time attendance with Al-Anon f2f, MIP, working the Al-Anon steps, reading related literature, maintaining my relationship with HP, understanding and practicing letting go of the A and their addiction and not allowing that addiction to control my physical or psychological well being.
I would love to be able to develop a more compassionate view of AH when he drinks and gets angry. I would like to be able to not feel bad when he attacks me personally, my first instinct is to feel unloved and unworthy and I would like to not have his tirades affect me that way. I have learned to, the next day when things calm down, tell him he owes me an apology if he was clearly verbally abusive (that is something I just started doing) and I also have started to just remove myself from the house when he starts (it defuses the whole situation beautifully). I believe it will be possible to reach these goals now that I clearly understand that I cannot control AH at all.
The areas in my life that I would like to be restored would be my confidence and serenity and I feel that I am 3/4 of the way there already.
I have come along way since I wrote out this step, all of what I have learned in this step now comes second nature to me. It works when you work it!!
I hope that my sharing what I wrote, back last year, helps those on this board who are trying to work these steps as well!!
Happy hump day!!
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
Thank you for your ESH with Step 2!!! I came upon this step and in my before program approach read it carefully and almost dismissed it as I did not fully understand my 'insanity'....
I was still stuck in the stinking thinking - if they stop it will get better, when they .... - outward focus for many different areas of my being.
My sponsor was quick to remind me that my actions and reactions were perhaps a bit left of center. She suggested I only needed to stop and think about the thoughts, actions, deeds, words, etc. I had used within the last week and try to recall which were loving and which were not so loving.
Well.....being angry, restless, discontent, and teflon (blaming others) - you can imagine the negativity, anger and hate that I wrote about....
We had a long discussion and I wrote more after that about what sanity, HP and belief meant. For me, I needed to realize I was no longer on my own. I had program people who loved me (here & F2F) and that my HP (I also use God) did not put me on this earth to be miserable, negative and angry all waking moments.
I turned it around and realized that my HP wants me to be Happy, Joyous & Free. He wants me to be kind, loving and gentle with those I am privileged to have in my presence. He wants me to do the next right thing and have peace and serenity. He wants me to be of maximum service to those I can help and most of all, he loves me and will lead me IF I listen.
Step 2 for me was an eye-opening experience that I feel truly opened my eyes and heart for better living and better things. I too am grateful for what I've gone through as it has made me who I am now.
Make it a great day and love the daily Step posts!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Pinkchip, Serenity47 and Iamhere for the kudos, encouragement and positive responses. You all shine in my eyes and have impacted my life with your own ESH beyond words that can express!
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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it
does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown
