The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today, the reading discusses the 'weapon' of sarcasm - the cutting remark, the snide innuendo, the scornful answer.
The reading talks about if we could see ourselves using this weapon, we would not be proud. The reading also discusses that using sarcasm may give momentary satisfaction in scoring a hit when we are angry or frustrated. It asks us to consider: Does sarcasm get me what I truly desire? Will attacking someone else help to solve the problems between us? Is this really the way we wish to behave?
The meditation then goes on to suggest alternatives for when we feel helpless or angry. Perhaps calling an Al-Anon friend or going to a meeting for perspective. Another option is to journal or write down every nasty word I want to say and then share with a sponsor instead. Getting out the anger, frustration and/or helplessness in an appropriate way without hurting others needlessly is a better alternative for a serene life. Once we 'cleanse' as best as possible, the reading suggests we can then behave in a more constructive way and communicate in a way we can be proud of.
The reminder discusses that most of us carry more than enough shame, and that it's not necessary to add to our problems by using cruel, clever words to humiliate a fellow human. By doing this, we tend to shame ourselves.
Quote is from Living with Sobriety - "Everyone in an alcoholic situation deserves and needs extra loving care."
For me, it's so much easier to work a good program and live the program life when things are constant or have normalized. It is when there is chaos, drama or disruption to living that I truly need to grasp any/all tools available. Sarcasm and humor are both habits I've formed over my entire life that tend to rise up to the surface when I feel threatened, hurt or angry.
I have come to practice HALT often and use PAUSE to help me either say nothing and listen actively or to say a quick prayer to say what I mean and mean what I say, as nicely as possible.
Love that this daily meditation points out that sarcasm is a 'weapon' and doesn't bring about the desired results. The best weapons I can use today to find peace and serenity are the tools from this program - meetings, fellowship, steps, slogans and ESH. After all, I am not out to win a war, I am just out to win my own life back.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks I AM HERE I love how alanon so expertly disarms all my negative destructive tools such as anger, sarcasm and resentment by showing me how using hem hurts ME.
Before program I could justify using all my negative tools by blaming others and remaining a victim. Having the courage to look within and see what I am doing to hurt myself, really set me free
Thank you for your share. I have hidden behind sarcasm and work at recognizing when I am trying to be funny and when I am crossing the line into mean-spiritedness because I have difficulty saying what I mean to say without saying it mean.
The program has helped me see how often I was doing this and how little good it did me!
(((Betty))) - safe travels and tons of fun - that's my prayer and hope for you on this glorious day!!
Mary - I relate completely.....I also am watchful of that line and crossing it - unfortunately, at times, I don't realize it until I've stepped on or over it.
The great news - the program also gives me the tools & steps to correct it (amends) and avoid it (HP removing my defects) in the future.
Love progress and not perfection!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
