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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> My kid and I are a packaged deal!
Post Info TOPIC: My kid and I are a packaged deal!
Koko


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My kid and I are a packaged deal!
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My three 2.5 year sober AH of four years AH is often a dry drunk... Fun,eh?  I have a 14 year old son.  When we got married ah was sober and we merged our families together... Disasterously.....

my my son was the youngest of the step kids...l we moved into their house.  I did not realize the extent of the disfunationality of his kids, etc., when we married....and the drinking resumed in full swing exponentially.....

disaster, yes?  I moved out 2.5 years ago... My son and I still live separately.  his kids are grown and gone.  We take turns staying at the others house when my son is not home.  He sometimes sleeps here when my son is home.  Last night was yet another mess....

I have told him that he must rebuild the relationship with my son a couple of times and so far nada... Even did so in counseling.

So today after another nasty blowout (but I did not take the bait). ... I texted him this.

"My son is a priority.  If you love me like you say you do, then he should be a priority as should repairing the relationship.  We are a package deal.  In time he may trust you again and feel safe and ok with coming over.  He won't if the relationship is like it is. "

So so there you have it..... this is my top deal breaker.  Now it's up to HP....

 



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hotrod


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Good work choosing your son's sanity and well being. Maybe your son would benefit from alateen as well

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

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Koko


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Oh Betty how I wish my son would be open to ALateen.  Ive tried.  He flat refuses.



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hotrod


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Koko By your practicing these principles in all your interactions, he will feel the recovery. Keep on taking care

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Koko


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That is my hope. To talk openly with him, show him by example, one day at a time show him to the best of my ability that Alanon is the key to serenity for those of us who have been affected by another persons drinking.....

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chelsea girl 24


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Thanks Koko for sharing I am going thru a similar situation but my son is 21 and he is an only child. I have said the same things now I have to make them stick.

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Ellen McHugh
KennyFenderjazz


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I agree completely with Betty, your son will see your recovery when he knows that you have him first as a priority. Being a teenager (I have a 14-year-old boy at home myself) it will take him a little while to figure that one out,it certainly won't be overnight, but there will come a day when he realizes it. Especially if you keep up the firm boundaries you are. Congratulations on knowing your priorities!

Kenny

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> My kid and I are a packaged deal!