Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Moving
Post Info TOPIC: Moving
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:
Moving
Permalink  

i found a nice apartment and will start to move in 

this week. I am to be out of my home by Monday.

My xah gets the home i asked for time to sort and 

clean out. I hope i will not need to return. I am throwing

away junk, papers and just plain old stuff. Giving the

good stuff away or bringing it somewhere.

 

i am not taking much furniture from here only what 

i need and then i am going to collect and gather different

things. Many people have offered stuff And support.

 

i still am suffering. I did not think it would be this bad

but it has been. The emotions and feelings are close to the 

surface. My Divorce rage is in full swing i hope i will not see

him before i leave. He is being scarce which is a good thing.

 

I hope when i get settled into my new place away from him

and reminders i can and will heal. It will be just me no cat 

even to take care of. I will be a totally free woman. I hope

Then i can start to feel that way with some real honesty.

 

I hope to start to do more fun things and join more groups

outside of support groups and working all the time. That has

been my life for too long now. I need more fun. I Work too

Many crazy hours that needs to stop Too.

 

We had a good life for a long time till it started going bad.

I think that statement sums up my internal struggles.The

good was probably 15 years and the increasing bad was

for another 15 years. None of it really makes much sense,

It is what it is.

 

Surrender awaits me!

 



__________________
missmeliss


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1887
Date:
Permalink  

Wonderful news that you have found a new place. I'm pleased for you.
Hopefully you can finally start to close the book on that chapter of your life and start a wonderful new one.
yay!
(((Mirandac)))

__________________

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:
Permalink  

Great News Mirandac. This Is indeed a difficult time. I always try to remind myself that walking through the pain takes the 12 steps of the program and that when I'm walking through hell to keep on walking, because there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you for sharing the journey

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:
Permalink  

Thanks you melly and betty i wish my heart and soul were In total

agreement but i have no control over them At this time. 



-- Edited by Mirandac on Wednesday 10th of June 2015 10:06:58 AM

__________________
mjferg


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 419
Date:
Permalink  

I understand as I have been going through it.I don't know how it happened,but I just kept putting one foot in front of the next and one day it happened.The intense pain is gone,it's just gone.I never thought I would be able to feel joy again or laugh again,but I am.I just gave myself permission to feel my feelings, and eventually there is a quiet,calm healing that takes place.I wish you well.

__________________

Mary
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:
Permalink  

Thanks mary i hope and pray peace comes when
I move away. He is around or his business stuff is
Here all the time so it is Like an open wound not
healing.

I am sure steps 4-12 will help me when i can focus
Much more. I have been on the emotional, feeling,
Healing And grieving journey. It has been intense
And i am now ready for a big break.

__________________
mjferg


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 419
Date:
Permalink  

I pray that you will get that break.

__________________

Mary
Green Eyes


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 661
Date:
Permalink  

When I moved out four years ago and left my AH of 29 years, and left him our home of 25 years, I was sad and scared, but wanted to be able to breathe again after five plus years of pain, insanity and financial disasters. On the day that I got the keys to my little one bedroom apartment, I sat on the empty livingroom floor and cried and thought about how I had started out my life out of college in an apartment that was bigger than this one. I felt like I had regressed in my life, but I knew that I had to get out and take care of myself.

Fast forward to today: I am at peace. I'm a widow, but my life is very good. I keep busy with several volunteer groups and get togethers with old and new friends, I take long walks everyday, I travel, I moved to a larger apartment and got a new, better paying job. I have no debt. And I have fun! This was all very hard to imagine four years ago, but here I am, and you can be here too. Sending you ESH!

GE

__________________
YARNCRAZY


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 472
Date:
Permalink  

You are so strong, i admire your ability to put yourself first. I take such strength from reading about fellow alanon members being able to move away from their ahs. I want to move but my finances/relationship is so tangled up in itself. 

 



__________________
ALYCE R KINIKIN
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:
Permalink  

Thank you both i hope to soon find my serenity again!



__________________
Iamhere


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:
Permalink  

Mirandac - congrats. on finding a new home! Maybe just my thoughts, but ... could it be that HP showed you that place?

My hope is your path to peace is swift once removed from the home. Be good to you and just do the next right thing. It's been working so far and I have faith your program will get you to the other side.

(((hugs))) to you - you are not alone! We are here for you!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:
Permalink  

Thanks iamhere and yarncrazy

I kept looking it was the same Thing typical rental everywhere
and expensive to boot. I needed a washer and dryer hookup at
least.

This is 1,000 sq feet and nice appliances, kitchen And bath.
Only one other tenent had lived there. Its a little Home on
the second floor it even has central air its right In town where
I work thirteen miles from xah.

I know i need to get out of my depression and grieving
It has worn me down. I will be 59 this is not what i planned
and i am still not a happy camper about any of it. I still want
My good husband back not the guy he is now. I need to Find
new joy and let go of the what should have been and Embrace
the what is now.

I realize God has good plans for me ahead just different than
I thought they should be :)



__________________
Debb


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1661
Date:
Permalink  

I am wishing you peace and serenity right now Mirandac. {{HUGS}}

__________________

 "Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

Debbie
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:
Permalink  

Thank you Debb. It certainly is a journey!

__________________
Quakeroat


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 36
Date:
Permalink  

What a testimony you are to the proof that the program works.

well done for all the effort you have put in to making this work.

i have a strong feeling you won't look back for longer than a glance you are an inspiration to me.

i am a recovering alcoholic sober 21 years and I have a son who is estranged from me he's in active alcoholism.

im relatively new to Alanon but I'm learning more about the strength that comes from this program daily.

i know first hand what recovery can be had from the damage alcohol does but I would love to be in a stronger place re my son.

i feel as though I've already lost my son and through this last winter I suffered grief but I'm gradually realising through a small group I'm in Scarborough UK that I have gained some comfort from identifying with others who children are estranged.

look forward to hearing more from you in the future



__________________
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:
Permalink  

Thank you quaker. I dont feel strong most days but i now
Can feel my feelings and emotions and face them with The
help of God. It is a tough road to reclaim yourself and your
Sanity from the effects of this disease and its dysfunction.

As far as your son just keep working on you thats all you can
Do. Keep your side of the street clean use good healthy boundaries
And loving detachment among other tools.

Alanon has great relationship tools, i have worked them into my
life. No success with my xah though when someone does not want
to repair a relationship there is not much you can do but take care
Of yourself.

Good going on the support group. I love my divorce group it helps
On so many levels and works well with alanon.

__________________
Newlife girl


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 938
Date:
Permalink  

Congratulations! When i first moved out, I felt like I was on vacation. It's still going ok for me. I moved from a large house to a small apartment. I learned how to get rid of things.mOverall,am happier. It's a journey...wishing you the best!!

__________________

Living life one step at a time
Jen61


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 720
Date:
Permalink  

I have read your posts over the months and I see nothing but growth. Divorce is hard, let alone moving to another place. I think once you get moved and acclimated to your new place you will feel a sense of freedom and calmness. The pain of the divorce will lessen in time. Positive thoughts are being sent your way.

__________________
Iamhere


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:
Permalink  

Mirandac -

My hope is that you are almost settled in your new home! May it be a peaceful night for you - just wanted to share that I too am sending positive thoughts your way!

Perhaps it is true - the best is yet to come!

Continued prayers and positive thoughts your way!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:
Permalink  

Thank you for the support. I have not moved in yet. I moved the big
Stuff friday. I am trying to dejunk, clean and deal with anything Good
At home. Tomorrow is suppose to be my day to leave i am not done yet.
I might ask for another day i do not want to have to come back.i am still
Working too.


What an emotional ride and a lot of work. i have only lived here 15 years
Most stuff is going to the dump. If i dont want it and its not needed here.
He can deal with the cellar and garage.

My emotions are all over the place i pray for serenity and peace. I am trying
To process my feelings and leave him out of the equation. They are mine and
about me i need to face them to get to the other side. I think when i get out
And get settled in i will begin to really heal.

I felt really intense emotions when i was half asleep last night it was really
strange, maybe a breakthru with leaving him out of my emotions. It was
powerful, it Felt like God was moving me deeper into healing or feeling
my feelings deeper.


__________________
a4l


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1396
Date:
Permalink  

I was thinking of you this afternoon. Its 7 pm here, and I'm calling it an early night. God has you, have no doubt on that one my friend.thankyou for all your loving support over the past year, sending you mine at this time. Xx Edna.



__________________
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:
Permalink  

Thank you edna this has been a tough road to
travel. I wish my life turned out different. I need
To believe i have good life ahead of me. God Has
me and loves me just as i am. Those Thoughts
really help get me thru and i am not a religious
person only becoming a spiritual one.

I can only change and Help myself from now on.
I Need to embrace My singleness and enjoy being
a totally free woman to do as i choose.

Those thoughts are a little frightening and scary
At the same time. One baby step to a time.


__________________
Mark17


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 73
Date:
Permalink  

Hi Mirandac,

Congrats on getting out and beginning that process of moving on!
I find it interesting that for us it's a victory if we get out because
the "disease" so isolates us and turns us inward toward the
family (maybe I'm just speaking for me but this is my current
interpretation). On another hand, it's also a victory if we stay
and we are able to "detach with love," thereby living a fulfilled
life in the face of the A and the "disease."

For me, I don't know how I could have done the latter, which
is why I'm now divorced and trying to move on like you have.

Thanks for sharing... keep us posted on things!

Mark

__________________
Mirandac


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1662
Date:
Permalink  

Thanks Mark for your good wishes
And welcome to this board.



__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Moving