Mary -

What a great post and thank you for sharing it.

I also remember a great freedom when I began to let go of the secrets. Shortly thereafter, as I got better at 'my own business', I decided that I needed to stop over-sharing with non-program friends. They certainly do not understand what life is like with this disease, and I felt 'pity' instead of love.

So - I too now can be 'real' with my friends and take any confusion, concerns, etc. to my program friends. I feel very blessed by the gifts of this program!

Enjoy your amazing life on this amazing day!!

I'm right there with you Mary! I understand completely and it does feel like a new lease on life for me. Hugs to you and thank you so much for your inspiration today!

"I can do whatever I want and that is so amazing."  What a great feeling!  I am so happy you are experiencing this.

You're fast becoming my role model! Keep it up and keep telling us about it!! Congrats!

Good for you!!!! I had the sad revelation the other day that one of the reasons I moved away from where my son was living (not the only reason, but one) was that I was afraid of him being around my ex and how it would negatively impact his life. My own son. Now I am starting to realize that I was already hooked into the disease, too or I would never have made a terrible decision like that. And, of course, I avoided having people over, told my family they couldn't come for visits either because my ex said no outright or I knew that I would pay for it later if I went ahead and did it.

I was working on several house projects today that involved hammering and painting, and for split seconds forgot and had a feeling of panic that my ex was going to start yelling at me about doing projects. I caught myself and -- as I have been trying to do often lately -- said out loud, "I don't have to worry about that anymore! I am working hard, getting things done, having fun, and I'm proud of myself!"

Good for you that you are feeling free and letting yourself really deeply enjoy it!!!!

I love, love, love this thread. There are so many things I can relate to. Each of you has brought out something that I have learned or experienced or am still experiencing. I can't tell you how much it means not to feel alone in all of this.

I don't do "secrets" and believe secrets always lead to a bad result. I do believe in not sharing information that is not yours to share, but I have a BAD history of over sharing (which I wish I could take back). It's not that what I have shared was untrue, but I should not have shared the things I have. I am very ashamed of the way I behaved and am working very hard to address this issue.

I've refused to share most of the info on AH since his DUI arrest (even though it was in the paper on two counties). Basically I have shared only with a very few close friends/family and have limited that to necessary information. I did this (this time honestly) because I finally realized it was not my story to tell. It is not my issue and not under my control,

When people ask if he is home, I simply say no. If they ask where he is, a say he has gone to a meeting, but I don't explain. That is his choice whether or not to share. It is liberating in a way. Drama has always been at the epicenter of my world and the peace I am feeling (for the most part) now is priceless.

I am also working diligently on "reversing" the damage I have caused to my daughter by the way I was handling things in the past. I share openly with her that I was wrong and that I am working on me and trying to do the right things. I am also finding that I was enabling her in a way (though she is a wonderful person who I am blessed to call my child). We are working hard on this and I tell her (as I set new limits and more stringent rules that are actually enforced) that I have been wrong in letting her get away with doing pretty much whatever she wanted. Don't get me wrong, the worst I can honestly say she has done is live in filth in her room and shirk responsibility for cleaning up after herself. Each time I correct her now, I insist she come back to her mess and clean it up. I then explain that she is responsible for her own actions. I also tell her that there is nothing she can do bad enough to that I would stop loving her.

I still see the anxiety she suffers from living in an alcoholic world and I pray we will find a way out of it for her. I don't have to push her as far as anything else because she pushes herself so hard. I just worry that she pushes herself because she feels she has to be perfect. Though I do tell her she is always perfect to me..no matter what.

Thank you for this topic and for sharing. It helps each time I read what others experience and how alcohol has played a role in each persons life. I am so thankful for being able to come here so much! I feel like it is my stabilizer in an insane world.