The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODA T reading for May 18 talks about being able to read Al-Anon literature and simply "talk the talk." It points out that :" talking the talk" is very ineffective and that we must learn to" walk the walk" in order for recovery to occur.
We have been accustomed to living in denial and pretend and worrying about what others thought of us. That is why we think that talking the talk works.
Nothing changes unless we discard all our old tools and truly pick up Al-Anon tools and use them in our everyday life.
Practicing these principles in all our affairs, as the 12th step suggests is the key.
The Courage to Change today focuses more or less on the same topic. It points out that prior to Al-Anon we tried to go through life without rocking the boat or facing issues head-on. By not addressing an argument, the results are usually disastrous as we become irritable and unreasonable and resentments fester.
The reminder says the Chinese word for crisis is written with two brushstrokes. The first represents danger and the second for opportunity. I will tried to look for t the good within everything I encounter. This is a tall order, and one I do not always succeed with, but it is progress not perfection.
And the quote is from Richard Bach:" there is no such thing as a problem with that a gift for you in it's hands"
Placing these principles above personalities , using these tools in all my affairs, and learning how to say what I mean, mean what I say without saying it mean has changed my life, a hundredfold.
My interactions with my family of origin have improved and I no longer walk around with a heart full of anger and resentment
Thanks again Betty for the daily! For me, I must try to incorporate all the tools and principals each moment of each day until they become a more natural choice/reaction.
I woke up this morning, and apparently there was a late night party in my kitchen that I was not invited to. I immediately wanted to curse and pout, but instead chose to enjoy the sunshine, clean it up and move on.
That choice for me is a direct result of Alanon and you all who've been here longer and willing to share your ESH with me!
Make it a great day!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Very important reminder that I need to practice these principles in all these affairs. Which to me means that I need to remain aware of what I choose to do, because I can find that I slip into old thinking extremely quickly. This especially happens when I am tired or not feeling well and I wind up justifying things that I need to clean up afterwards.
Makes me think of the saying, 'when I got busy, I got better'. To me, it's not about being busy with a lot of chaos or things to feed my denial of what's really going on. I interpret it as when I keep my mind busy with Al-Anon principles (of which there are many), then I have a chance at changing my attitude and my thoughts. But I have to implement the wonderful things I hear, or it's not much use to me or anyone else. Progress not perfection, but the journey needs to start somewhere. Thanks so much everyone for posting and sharing your esh.
