Well, I got through court just fine.  I haven't had that kind of anxiety since I originally had XAH served, his last over the top reaction in January really freaked me out.  That had so little to do with me and so much to do with his lack of communication .. nothing new there.  I had to laugh to myself though it I always feel good in a court room setting .. I think I should be a tad scared .. LOL.  Or maybe the atty's should be I haven't figured that out yet. 

Oh something I recently read about that I would like to read more is about the study that has been done on women specifically regarding estrogen and anxiety .. how nice we are hardwired to worry and obsess.  Seriously, .. and this is why I love the God of my understanding .. who else would bless women with the red river of death or life based upon perception .. however for some when it comes it can almost induce vomiting from the pain of ovulation .. ugh.  I'm past baby making days unless the God of my understanding has an even worse sense of humor and I happen to be the 2nd Virgin Mary by default!  So I do wonder how much of my anxiety was hormonally induced and how much was actual stress which I have no doubt played a factor in it. 

Anyway, court as always was interesting and entertaining .. my sponsor told me you are the only person I know who can list court as interesting and entertaining .. there are never words like terrifying or exhausting.  Normally I get out of court and want to go and run a 5k .. lol .. so not a good thing that this feeds my inner Athena.  It's ok though because I do what I need to do to get through the moment as painless as possible. 

My XAH will receive the paperwork this week and thankfully the kids had a good visitation.  I say will . let me rephrase he SHOULD receive the paperwork this week .. we'll see.  I'm still feeling anxious about that .. not like I was last week.  I'm really trying to stay in the moment of I can't control what he does or doesn't do .. becoming a Dateline story is not on my list of goals in this lifetime.  His atty specifically has caused so many issues because of his tactics of continual delays.  It's all good.  Someone said to me recently do you really think he's capable of that kind of violence .. honestly .. straight up answer .. I don't know .. the man I married I never dreamed would cheat on me and he did that so why wouldn't he take it further especially with his misplaced anger. 

So it looks like the actual court date will be in 45 days from yesterday ... we will see.  Possibly 60, it's going to get interesting up in here is all I have to say and I can't begin to express how RELIVED I am that I no longer have to participate in the circus he creates. 

On a very funny note .. I was a bad alanon person and got a dig in on his atty before court started .. I'm always well behaved .. HA HA .. mostly at least .. I will admit I enjoyed having a room full of laughing atty's at his atty's expense considering how much he's cost me on so many levels.  LOL.  He started it .. I just tend to wait before I finish them.  One of my former atty's turned to me and said you are very funny that was really good.  He was shocked to see me there as well.  Well it's the hair .. LOL .. most of them don't recognize me right now.  Even his atty didn't until I got up with them and he was stunned. 

Plus when we got before the judge I really had a laugh because his response .. did we not just get you people divorced?!  I had a very good giggle on that one.  There is something to be said about learning to keep my big mouth shut in all situations.  I am soooooo grateful for Alanon .. facial expression say it all and I said all I needed to say without opening my mouth.  The judge was furious with his atty.  He likes to spin a story.  We have gone from how this job he would receive a significant raise that was in Oct to get the divorce done to now well I haven't heard that my client has received a raise.  HA HA HA .. good luck with that one honey .. I sooo can't wait to get on the stand.  The comment I heard from my atty was you look like you are ready to go and I said oh yes .. let's get it done .. I'm ready for the stand, with my facts and just watch him bounce around wondering what happened. 

Anyway, here's hoping the new wife pushes him to settle