The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
His drinking is so out of control that he is never sober. Lately his eyes are always red and watery and he has trouble thinking clearly. I've been subjected to his drunken rages and his drunken clinging. He can't seem to hit a normal emotional position.
So last night he was accusing me of stomping all over his male ego. I just ignored him. Then he accuses me of deliberately decieving him. I just ignored him. Then he passed out in the bedroom.
Why doesn't he understand that these behaviors simply drive me further and further away and that I continuously pray that the business will sell quickly and I can divorce him ASAP? His a daughter acts exactly the same way and he doesn't like her and avoids being around her. Why can't he make the connection? You think it is because his brain cells are so constantly soggy with alcohol that they simply misfire all the time?
Thank you, Megan. I know that I am living with insanity. I try very hard to remind myself that he is a nut job with no connection to reality. I try to keep the facts always present in my mind.
He claims that I am mean to him. The fact is that he has been verbally abusive for quite some time now and I had warned him repeatedly that if he continued with the verbal and emotional abuse I would return it in spades. Now I treat him like he treats me and he doesn't like it. But, it doesn't cause him to alter his behavior.
I have tried ignoring him, but he becomes physically abusive.
I really don't know how people handle this for a prolonged period of time. We have only been married 1 year and I am already chomping at the bit to get divorced FAST.
You sound like me! My A and I have only been married a year and there are times when I already want a divorce. My A has not been disgustingly drunk for quite a while now, which is good, but it's only a matter of time when he starts falling back into his old habits. Anyway, my A says I am mean to him and he's right; sometimes I say some things that could really cut (I'm a little smarter than him so I can really cut him down when I want to). This is my response to his cutting me down and making fun of me for drinking a Pepsi or something instead of a beer or making fun of me for my dance class, etc. etc. I have warned my A many times too that I don't like the cut downs. In fact, I'm thinking of videotaping him the next time he's like that so I can play it back to him. Things have been good for a little while now, but as soon as the next stressful thing comes up, he'll be back in the bar. I can totally relate to you. Good luck!
