The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My house is finally finished. The landscapers finished today and the painters finished yesterday. My cabinets have been installed, the front door and interior doors have been replaced. I am too exhausted to enjoy it. My mother-in-law has kep the baby for two weeks while work was being done on the house. She even came to clean today. God Bless Her. My daughter had an appointment with a GI specialist Monday and all of her tests came up negative when the results came in today. You would think that would be a good thing, but it just means more tests. She is going to have to be put to sleep so they can run a light down her throat. She also has to have a sweat test at the hospital on the first for cystic fybrosis. I took the volunteer job as a guardian ad litem and my fist case is Monday and I've been busy investigating the abuse case. My son's psychotropic meds had to be changed yesterday. It can be difficult for him adjusting to new meds. Husband has been at work all week in another state (he drives a truck) so I haven't had to deal with him. He seems to be doing well. We go to court for DV on the 15th and I will request court order treatment. Busy, but tired. All is well for today.
Your post made me tired, just reading it. How do you do all that and deal with an A too? I have never figured out how to. Something has to give, and most often it's the house goes to pot or I just have a melt down.
It took my husband getting arrested for DV, and then arrested again for breaking probation, for them to finally order treatment. And now Insurance won't pay because it was in a law violation. Now he has to come up with 2 or 3 thousand dollars for a 6 week outpatient treatment.
Don't know what direction my marriage is headed. He says he wants a divorce, and this time I think he means it, even tho he says it a lot. Have not seen or heard from him since Monday nite, except for an email saying it's over between us. And one email saying he took the insurance and tax money over to the guy we're buying the house from.
I think I'm going to have to move somewhere else until he gets better, if he ever does.
Sounds like you're doing good. Keep up the good work!
I am also exhausted reading about your week. I have been inspired by some people in the room to focus on my own self care and some of that for me has been cutting back. I focus on what is achievable rather than leaving myself no out. That means for me setting reasonable goals and putting my self care up there. The A of course would like me to be devoted to his self care. I make a point of not asking and not enquiring about his life because he will generally invite me into the chaos. He is working somewhere he likes at the moment but that can change in an instant.
I am currently unemployed and I like having the space and time to do some things but I am suffering because I have low income. I am trying to create choices in that. I spend a lot of time looking for work and running into blind alleys. I try to keep my options open and plan a life without the A because dealing with him is very very frustrating. Whatever I ask him to do he cannot do. I am also trying to create a plan a, b, c, d which takes up some of my time. I would like to have a month by month run down of plan a. I do not have that yet. I do have one month ahead but that is as far as I have got. So I think in the next week I want to have a month by month plan for at least the next 6 months that would take a lot of my focus off the A.
Wow. You are coping with a whole lot. Thank God for your mom, she sounds like a big help. My thoughts are with you, and remember to deal only with what is in front of you at the moment. Worrying doesn't get it done, so why bother?
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**Everyone is doing the best they can from day to day**
Hey girly, what about time for you? Staying busy is good with all that is going on, but I would love to read you locked yourself in the bathroom for an hour and took a hot bath, or went for a walk in the park. I worry you are filling your plate to full. Just remembrt to take care of you, while you are taking care of everyone else. Would loveto see your house now!! Heard so much about it.
Josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
