Al-Anon Family Group

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Post Info TOPIC: new, is this the place for me? Please read.


Newbie

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new, is this the place for me? Please read.


Hi everyone. I am just wondering if this is the right place for me. I will try to be brief. I am not with an alcoholic or addict, but with a mentally ill/personality disordered person, who used to use cocaine and alcohol but has not in many years. I am codependent and grew up with an abusive alcoholic father. I have been in relationships with 2 addicts and now this relationship is with a mentally ill person. When telling my story to therapists or friends, they all ask, due to boyfriends behaviour, if he is an addict or alcoholic. To me, he acts like a dry drunk. But he is not/or is he because he never recovered?  My whole life revolves around him, he hasn't worked in 3.5 yrs and I have taken sole responsibility for the bills etc. I know I need help. Anyway, there are no coda online meetings as of yet, from what I can see and given my situation, I was hoping I could find help and support here. I do not have any money for a therapist and there aren't any coda groups in my area. I know that I am attracted to alcoholics/addicts/mentally ill men because of my father and I desperately need help. Thanks for reading and any advice as to whether this site and theses Al-anon online meetings would be beneficial to me would be much appreciated. Thanks!

-- Edited by codependentme at 14:06, 2006-02-22

-- Edited by codependentme at 14:08, 2006-02-22

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~*Service Worker*~

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i think U belong just as much as anyone ELSE


just bcuz they are not "using--drinking"  NOW,  that doesn't mean they don't have the personality......alanon is 12 step program that helps the  "receiving end" of the illness to live with/without the  "drinker-user"   and learn to take care of themselves.....


i think tradition 3 says  if u have a  friend or relative who is  "alkie-druggie"   u belong...and they don't have to be   using-drinking  right now for u to qualify....they still have the personality traits ..and if they are NOT in recovery????  i would say u need al-anon MORE......just my take,  rosie       OH!!!  WELCOME!!!!



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rosie light shines


Veteran Member

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Well I would second that you belong here.  This site has been wonderful for me in that it has helped me think about taking care of ME which I hadn't really considered in a long time.  Here you find lots of understanding people who understand what you are going through.  Many of us have coDa problems as a part of our situation.  This is a great place to vent, get feedback and just find a place where people "get it".  You might want to check out the ACOA boards as well, since you are one.

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**Everyone is doing the best they can from day to day**


~*Service Worker*~

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The only requirment for membership is that u love or have loved an alcoholic or addict.  Welcome to Al-Anon  hope u stay .  Louise

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I came- I came to-I came to be



Senior Member

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YES...This is the place for you.You will learn new ways of dealing with the a's or people in general.Alanon has given me my life back I am truly grateful for this program.I hope you will like it as well


 


Lauren~



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~*Service Worker*~

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Many of the people here grew up in alcoholic homes - it definitely 'qualifies' you.

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Newbie

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Thank you all. I feel so comforted right now. i am so glad that i found this site! Thank you sincerely!

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~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome Home!


Hugs Mary



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Mary


Senior Member

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WELCOME!


Glad you are here.


Doxie



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~*Service Worker*~

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I have good news and bad news....


The good news is....... you qualify!!


The bad news is...... you qualify!!! (lol)


Yes, you certainly make the "qualifications" for being here, as your life has definitely been, and appears to still be, being affected by alcoholism.


Glad you are here, and hope you stay...


Tom



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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

"What you think of me is none of my business"

"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"

 

 

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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short answer....


Welcome to your new home :)


Bob



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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are!  (added by me...in that special alanon way)



~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome to this group. I hope you will choose to come to meetings here they are very very helpful and informative. This group of people are loving, kind, accepting, non judgmental, informative and clear. I think you can get a great deal of help here if you want it and ask for it.  I look forward to getting to know you.


Maresie.



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Maresie


Veteran Member

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Posts: 48
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Welcome!

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Just concentrating on getting through one day at a time.
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