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Okay, so my A has not been drunk in at least four days!! Of course, he's still drinking, but just hasn't been sloppy drunk. Anyway, now he is moping around the house, probably resenting me because I told him I would leave him if he keeps drinking. He HATES not being drunk. He's not totally sober either, but he's not drunk enough to block everything out. He's said he's depressed because he's not working, he doesn't have any money and we're not getting along. I know he's also depressed because he hasn't been good and drunk in four days. I shouldn't have to try to "cheer him up", right? It's not up to me to make him feel better. He will eventually go ahead and get good and drunk again anyway, it's just a matter of time. Any advice on how to deal with the slightly drunk, depressed A? I've been having a great time myself, actually. I've been taking dance lessons, working out, planning a trip to Mexico for my son and me and emailing old friends. I know the storm will come though. I appreciate any advice or similiar stories. I am supposed to go to my first meeting tonight, but I don't think I will be able to because we are supposed to get a foot of snow soon. Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories and their support. It means more than you'll ever know.
i have learned that with an alcoholic, drinking is drinking-whether it's a sloppy drunk or just sitting down drinking. just b/c he's not stumbling around the house doesn't make you have to accept it.
at first my dad would just drink while watching tv or after dinner. it wasn't a big thing. i used to let my kids spend time with him and sometimes spend the night. that was before i knew he had a problem. he progressed to being a really sloppy drunk. i knew it was way out of control when one day this happened:
he used to beg us to let him watch the kids. so one day my hubbie and i took him up on his offer so we could go out to eat and a movie (in the middle of the afternoon). we returned 3 hours later to my dad passed out, the kids running around and coloring on his walls. how long was he passed out??!!?? we were so pissed. we gathered the kids up and left-he didn't even wake up! i mean, the kids could have just walked out the door and he would never have known! needless to say, he hasn't watched the kids since. he doesn't even ask-i think he knows why.
i got kind of off track here, but the point is that if he is REALLY drunk or just a little drunk--in my book, it's all the same with an A. sorry to hear about your situation, but just keep taking care of you!
Wow Lindy you sure are busy, GOOD WORK. Dance lessons working out and a trip to mexico AWESOME :)
I am glad that you are going to face to face, let us know how it goes, if not this week then next.
My A was out of work and drunk and depressed for 3 years and 11 months. It sucks.
I nagged him not to drink and to get a job and it did not work.
What worked best for me was to ignore him and go along with my own business.
Alcoholism is a disease and it is progressive. Alcoholics not in recovery drink. That is what they do. The compulsion to drink is very strong, stronger than we will ever know as non-alcoholics.
A good read is chapter one of the AA big book. It helped me to learn about alcoholism.
keep coming back
-- Edited by megan at 12:48, 2006-02-15
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Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
