The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been in a funk for quite a few days. Part of me thinks that I am failing because I am comfortable here in this funk. Today, I had a change of heart. I feel like I need to be alone (luckily i am lol). I looked on Pinterest for some inspirational thoughts and found many. I finally semi forced myself to tidy up a bit and take a shower (they always make me feel better). I like to use shower time as a way to meditate and let my thoughts sort of flow through me. I have come to the realization that this isn't a funk at all, that this is my HPs way of letting me work through my thoughts and emotions and to understand how and why I am feeling the icky feelings and how and why I have been reacting to them and to other people. I am reminded what a blessing Alanon has given me (along with my HP) to just let myself life in the moment. While there stlll is a twinge of negative thinking for "letting" myself be in a funk, I know that that was what i was SUPPOSED to be doing.
The inspirational quote for my week is "So this is my life [week, moment]. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I am still trying to figure out how that could be."
I like to end that quote with and thats OKAY. This funk and time that I have claimed for myself (even though I hurt some selfish peoples feelings because I am not taking "time" for them) has truly given me a great deal of perspective on the recent chaos that snuck back in. (more on that to come)
((hugs)) to you all who are in your own Funk. I love you.
I'm always in a funk. I think it's because I don't have the worry/problems with my son anymore....at least for the next two years. I have been told many times I have to replace the loss but I haven't done so. I work, eat and sleep. I sit on this computer playing games and not doing a dang thing to try and change my life for the good.
Oh the house is clean as could be. My car is polished and sparkles in the sun. There is food in the house and I cook a lot but that is making me fat...LOL.
Let's hope we find a way to keep the funk away...
((( hugs )))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Loved reading this, Susie. Being aware and accepting ourselves as we truly are in any given moment or any given day and waiting on our HP's guidance and wisdom for the way around, out or through is so much gentler than fighting our inertia, our pain, our apathy, our funk. Not only do we learn in Al-Anon to let our loved ones be where they are without trying to force a solution, we also learn to let ourselves be where we are without insisting we try to be anything other than what or who we are at the time. Thanks for the thread.
Cathy, if you're still working 14 hours a day, I don't know how you even find the time or the energy to clean the house, the car, buy or prepare food, too. Wow! I'd be laid out on a couch somewhere when I got home and eating frozen dinners.
I had three days off...Saturday I went and saw my son in prison. On my way home went to Kohl's and bought me a complete new beautiful bed set with fancy pillows and all. Stopped at the store and bought enough food to feed an army. Sunday I cleaned the house until I dropped....made a great dinner because I was really hungry for something good. This morning I got up at 5 and washed the car inside and out. Now I'm resting for a while until the sun gets to the other side of the house so my car will be in the shade and I can wax it and clean the windows better. I started cleaning the house windows but got to tired so I think I will hire someone...lol. Did clean all the black widows, scorpions, webs and dirt off the patios
My car is white too but the mud during the rain made it look like I was 4 wheeling with it.
Feels good....try it.
((( hugs )))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I'll take your word for it, Cathy of Arizona, from my spot on my couch. As for the black widows and scorpions on your patio - better there than in your brand new bedding or army stockpile of rations.
On a serious note, you have had another major shock to your system in your son going to prison. It takes time to work through this, too. We just aren't prepared for any of this stuff in life school and its tough getting through it. I'd say you are doing remarkably well, sister, considering all the emotional hits you've experienced without alcohol or drugs to numb it all for you. It took me quite awhile to work through all the trauma when my son first went to prison and all the fears associated with that and with his disease. I know we're different people and still I do think a funk might be a touch of grace for you?
And I had to laugh at your description of your house and car, Susie. Good sense of humor I see in your post. Thank you.
I'll take your word for it, Cathy of Arizona, from my spot on my couch. As for the black widows and scorpions on your patio - better there than in your brand new bedding or army stockpile of rations. 