The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I Just thought I'd tell you all a little about myself, mostly all I did last time was rant. So My name is Linzie, I just turned 21 a few days ago. My Dad is the A in my life. He and my mother seperated when I was about 16 or 17 but things had been bad for them for years. They fought all the time and I fought with them both constantly as well. For just about as long as I can remember my mom slept on the couch. But Contrary to what my mom and my 19 year old Bro says, I really didn't think things were always so bad. That hurts a little, to hear your childhood was all crappy when you don't think so. It makes ya wonder if your crazy or something.
Anyways, When my mom left my dad, she took my bro's with her and lived in a temperorary one room cabin. I didn't want to live there, so I stayed at my dad's (I was not even asked about any of this) but before that happened he had lost his vehicle due to being laid off (he only had a company vehicle, my mom had a car) SO.. I had no way to get to school as I lived out of the school district Where I went. I moved in with my bf and his parents. I had been dating him on and off since 7th grade and there is no one I trusted more. His mom made sure I got to school every day even though her son didn't go. She forced me to work through it and finish- Thank God!
So the bank forclosed on the "dream house" My parents got together 3 years b4 they split. And my dad had 1 year to live there rent free, or until the bank sold it. I'm sure you guys know how that how speil goes. Well, My Dad says he's looked for jobs but who knows for sure. He was sooo depressed about my mom as they'd been together for almost 30 yrs. And that's when the drinking really got bad. After a while I finally got him to swollow his pride and ask an old friend for a job. He got the job, they even let him drive their personal vehicle home on weekends. I won't say exactly how, but he botched that, and also lost any chance of working for him again. Now that he was out of a home he rented a place not too far down the road for me at my bf's house. And I bring him all my left overs and do what ever I can to take care of him. Try to find him jobs, sold him my car for cheap, found him free fire wood because he just let his run out in the middle of winter. He also couldn't afford to buy any. I also got my family to help him cut it and bring it to his house.
Well, that's the story, and I worry and obsess about how he can get back on track every day. I just wish he could help him self. I always hope that he will see how his own daughter is taking care of him and wake up and say "Wow if she can live her life and take care of me, then I guess I can do it for myself." But of course he doesn't.
Thanks everyone for listening it feels good to just get this whole story out, as I can't talk to any one about him because I don't want them to think less of him than they already do.
I also just wanted to say how much more contented reading everyones posts makes me feel, It's good to know people are going through the same type of thing as me. (Although I wish ya weren't) I just keep telling myself that it's the trials and tribulations in life that mold you into a better person.
Keep on smilin' Everybody and thanks again for listening
Thank you for sharing. That was very brave. I understand that you don't want anyone to think poorly of your father. Are there Alanon meetings in your area? That would be a place to go where you could talk about your situation and they will not judge you...or him.
One thing I have learned through my husband is that as long as I do for him...he won't do for himself. As long as his mother and I fixed everything for him, he had no incentive to be his own person. This is something to keep in mind.
