The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello...I was on here before but realized I probably should have been using a psuedonym, thus the new account...
My A has just returned from rehab. It was his first if that matters. His eyes were wide open for the first time in a very long time, but still very yellow...he has some health issues related to his drinking. Jaundice, Liver Damage and who knows what else. He's scheduled for several things. Internal medicine MD, psychs, and support group. He is verbally determined to get better and do the work so who knows?
Not much different so far though. He went straight for the couch, TV, food, and immediate sleep. I know, give it time, I just hope he can be awake and lucid when normal people are someday. Frustrated and unsure of what lies ahead I guess.
From reading here though, there are lots of people in worse situations. No need to complain too much,
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The mind is like a parachute - it works best when it is open!
I remember from when my "A" has gotten cleaned up, he takes baby steps. Sometimes he owuld do his normal routine, TV, munch out, read, sleep. The only difference is that he was sober/clean while doing it. That is a huge difference. And sometimes it took all his strength just to stay sober/clean, so he stuck to normal routine and then he would start going to meetings, calling his sponsor, and working a program.
What works for me, when I am able to do it, is to not have any expectations over his recovery. My "A" tells me that he is going to get sober, and I tell him that is nice, and he has my support. That is about it. I know it could be any number of reasons why he is saying this. But I must admit there are times when I know the man I fell in love with speaks to me, and he says he needs to get sober, and I am renewed with hope. Not that this will really be it, that is not what I hope for, but the hope comes from knowing that my husband is still there.
Hope is such a beautiful thing. And faith, I have faith in my HP and my "A"s HP, because our HP is stronger than this disease. But sometimes I slip and realize that I have put expectations on his recovery. Funny thing is, I just realized, he has never put expectations on mine.
Keep coming back.
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
