The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Is it just me, or do all husbands work their asses off for every one else...
My husband has just phoned to let me know that he is working late.. again. I know for a fact that he is working. But it pisses me off. He has a good job teaching recovering addicts woodworking skills. Not much money, but good hours. He gets asked to work OT every day. Every weekend. And he does. We had a wedding this weekend to go to, and I had to fight with my husband to come with us. I finally ended up saying that if he went to work, i was not coming to pick him up to go to the fancy wedding with sawdust in his hair.
My problems is this. we both work full time. When he works late, that means I work late. There is nobody to help me with the chores, the kids, the shopping, the homework.
Plus, I get lonely.
I guess I want to change him. I can't figure out how to accept the fact that he wants to work all the time. The only person he feels comfortable saying no to is me.
I am mad at him employer for asking this from him too. Geez, i work in HR. WHen i see guys with OT like crazy, we hire new people!!!
Oh boy can I ever relate to all you wrote in this post. In fact it sounds like my life. How does one accept they would rather spend time at work than at home with the ones they supposedly love.
I to feel I am the only one he says no to. It does suck.
How funny. I don't come here for weeks and weeks, then one day, I come here to let out what is on my heart, and whammo... God gasps for air as I finally let him back out of the bag to hold my hand.
My husband came home rather than work as long as I thought. We went and voted together, came home and watched the hockey game together (go flames go)
Glad that you were able to do something with your husband. Until recently my ongoing request with my A was that he spend more time with his family. That he come home from work. That he say no to others and yes to his family. It is easier at work for him. He gets more positive feedback at work and a big ego boost when he is needed. He chose to avoid me and home for years and years and functioned as workaholic. I have been lonely without him and with him sitting right next to me but he cannot be intimate. And I suppose that I have my intimacy issues too. Now, that he has moved out, it seems like one big avoidance. We are told to notice when they can be there for us.
