My husband left rehab this weekend,...he made 11 days. I had mixed feelings on it, I wanted him to be home, we all missed him, but I wanted him to stay. Searching my feelings I've come to the conclusion that it wasn't that I didn't think he was ready...to be honest I don't know how many days that takes. He'd been through a 30 day rehab 10 years ago and the rehab only covered the first three steps, which he pretty much flew through. I told him that it's not the number of days, it's the program you work. He knows what he has to do. Now, it's up to me not to obsess over HIS program. He's been to at least one meeting a day and has a sponsor who he talked to on the phone for an hour last night. What will I do the first day he skips a meeting? I hope I will be ok with it. It happens, even with the most successful recoveries. I know that nagging has never worked in the past, so I will do the "opposite". (reminds me of the Seinfeld when George did the "opposite" of everything he usually did and did so much better!) I will stop, hold my breath and THINK. We had a great day today, we went to an arcade with the kids and I actually went down the giant slide with my 2 year old! Imagine ME having fun....it really was. My husband says how great it is to see me smiling...haven't done that in a long time. That's something I'm really working on with the kids...enjoying them again instead of scheduling and regimenting everything to death. We all deserve that...to put our responsiblities aside for a short time everyday and do something for US. Maybe if I'm happy, that will take some of the pressure off...maybe he won't feel insecure and so self loathing. Well, whatever the outcome, whatever the effect on my addict, at least I will be happy right? Is that the key? To learn to live for and love ourselves again so that others around us will live for and love us...???