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An update and post to vent my sorrow and joy over this weekend.
After being pleasantly surprised Thursday night coming home to a picked up house and awake husband, who even had a light on in the house, and was sitting UP on the couch I stayed home from work Friday to have a last day with my dog. He had gotten really weak but we didn't let that stop us from eating everything I could think to make and enjoying a lazy family day. Saturday morning we got up and took him to the vet, made slightly easier by the thought that he trusted me to do the best thing for him. And most helpful was my prayers to my HP to please remove the pain and replace it with relief that I was making the best choice for us all. Jasper passed quickly and peacefully with my husband and I in attendance. While driving home I closed my eyes and saw him young again standing by a stream, while the dog I lost earlier this year came flying over the hill with ears flapping in the wind to see him. I'm holding the belief that picture is exactly how it is.
I was pleased by my calmness and reply when my husband said he wished he had a drink. I was able to look at him and say simply if I didn't know what would happen because of it I would have joined him. I was able to listen and not reply negatively as he talked of why it would make him feel better until he talked himself out of it. We watched a day long special of ALL IN THE FAMILY shows. It's still on downstairs, I have laughed while watching ... I was thinking Edith is my Al Anon goal. Talk about acceptance and detaching with love ~laugh~
So the rest of my weekend will be spent taking care of me, making my house comfortable to be in, and enjoying the good that has come during a crappy weekend. I hope you all are well and enjoying yourselves too.
Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate them very much. As bad as I feel right now I wouldn't give up all the joy Jasper brought over the years. And it is getting better already, I've been thinking of happy days and not starting to get weepy every time. When they are not driving me nuts taking over the house, my pets can always make me smile.
By the way Dolphin ... after watching a few more hours of All In The Family ... I'm gonna take the parts where she manages to find joy in life no matter what, accepts people and finds good in them somewhere, and stands up for herself. But I think I will leave the sometimes putting herself last, and running to get Archie a beer.
I have a lump in my throat reading your post because my black lab is 14 and she is beginning to fail. I, too, may have to make that same decision as you did. I do believe that with my vet's advice and knowing that my God does not want my dog, Bailey, to suffer, I will be able to let go of her in love.
For today, I just enjoy and love her the very best that I can and will leave the rest in God's hand. I am so sorry for the loss of your (((((((((Jasper))))))))))).
With sympathy,
Maria123
__________________
If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Jennifer: Two years ago I had to help my boyfriend have his beloved Tabbie Helga put to sleep. What a wonderful image you had of your dog's going to heaven. Helga loved to lie out in the sun and was a fierce door banger. No one could ignore her banging on the door to get in. She once warped a screen door at one of my boyfriend's apartments.
Maresie, it's funny I have a cat who does the same thing, we nicknamed him Tank after hearing him crashing into the door over and over after we leave. One of these days it wouldn't surprise me if he bulldozes his own cat door through it. LOL
(((Maria & Bailey))) I pray you have many more happy days. I know they are not meant to be with us forever, and I can't change that, but I would if I could. My heart goes out to you knowing that time may be limited, keep enjoying every minute you can.
I keep thinking he wouldn't want me to bottle it all up, so I've been cleaning the house (a bit obsessively) inbetween weepy moments and then when the weepy moments get too long I remember a magnet on my friend's fridge that says ... "I want to be the person my dog thinks I am" and then I go back to cleaning. Kind of sums it all up for me right now. Probably a good thing I go back to work tomorrow. ~sigh~
I stayed home from work Friday to have a last day with my dog. He had gotten really weak but we didn't let that stop us from eating everything I could think to make and enjoying a lazy family day. Saturday morning we got up and took him to the vet, made slightly easier by the thought that he trusted me to do the best thing for him. And most helpful was my prayers to my HP to please remove the pain and replace it with relief that I was making the best choice for us all. Jasper passed quickly and peacefully with my husband and I in attendance. While driving home I closed my eyes and saw him young again standing by a stream, while the dog I lost earlier this year came flying over the hill with ears flapping in the wind to see him. I'm holding the belief that picture is exactly how it is. 