The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i had a major slip today. everything was going great my a and i had plans today then we get a phone call. from his mother and shes screaming and crying and all this crap. so we speant the entire day over there fighting. my a totally but himself on the backburner to tc of his mom and didnt get it that i wanted to get the hell out of there because it was stressing him out and me out and we needed to focus on our own lives. she has a pill addiction and has agreed to go to detox tomorrow. so good, so why couldnt we just have continued with our plans then? no our whole day had to revolve around her and we got nothing done. my a treated me horrible all day because he was so stressed out and i didnt remove myself from the situation. i chose to stay because my stupid thoughts made me think if i go home he will stay there and relapse. all the time i can tell myself im powerless and i need to tc of me but then when the moment comes its like i go braindead. we are home now finally and only have an hour together before i go to bed because i have to get up at 5am. tomorrow is gonna be so much worse but at least i will be no where in site. im taking care of me tomorrow. im going to work until 1:30 then going to a dinner theater with my best friend till 11pm. my a will have to deal with his mother alone. i have to keep in mind he will drink or do coke if he wants to. nothing i can do. so pray for me to stay sane i sure am.
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stay in the now...dont look forward, dont look back....your life is what you make of it
Boy do I relae lady. My a and his mom have a sicko relationship too.She is also addicted to perscrip. drugs.
I cannot say how many times there would be something that was for me, or I had a surgery or I was sick, that my A or his mom would always have something more important.
Always said i was an afterthought. I loved reading what you are doing tomorrow, good for you. Don't allow anything to stop ya. I am sure the disease will do its best to.
Don't beat yourself up. Be gentle with yourself. The 3A's are awareness - which it sounds like you are aware now - acceptance & action - You are already taking action tomorrow & planned ahead to take care of you. Good for you!
Ever hear that alert that comes over the radio...the one that starts with and steady tone for 15 seconds or so? Then the announcer comes on and says, "This is a test. This is ONLY a test." I like that one cause when it hits the fan and afterwards I get to ask myself, "How did I do? and How bad could it have been? and What other things could I now practice? Recovery is really progress. I've never seen perfection. (I think that perfection is an illusion.)
I read your post and imagined a football game and the score was Addict/Alcoholic 7, NSN 0 and the game wasn't over another kickoff was coming. Remember that you are powerless AND human. Get a Higher Power to lateral off to when you are about to get tackled. You can be had by the alcoholic, addict or just about any person or thing. Accept it and then let it go. There is so much more to learn. Stick around and practice what is working for others and you will be amazed. ((((hugs))))
Agree with all that has already been said. Keep it in the day. If you can, (maybe you already have!), get that little Just For Today Card. When I get desperate, I read it, over and over, and I do it, to the letter!! find it helps me.
Tomorrow is tomorrow, you have done your best, for now, if you made mistakes, so what? you human. Start again tomorrow, and, if it starts badly, start again!!!!
