Expecting the Positive - Al-Anon Family Group

kitty · ~*Service Worker*~

Expecting the Positive

Emafer · Veteran Member

I've decided that 2006 is a year of taking care of me and doing the things that I need to do to take care of me. And to really anayze how certain action are going to affect me in the long run. I thought about buying some rental property but I really felt that being a land lord was the last thing I need to worry about right now. I did however decide to be more active in my career. I'm a writer and used to write for several different publications. In the last 6 months I've gotten mor into lifestyle writing and little auto biographical essays and I've dedcided that I'm gonna start hawking more of that work. I'm also going to send out my professional journalism to bigger publications. Since I quite my last staff position my writing has been on the back burner and I realize that it's something that makes me happy and feel strong and whole and it needs to be more in the forefront.

I've also spent all of my vacation in the last several years going to family weddings. Yet, nobody has ever come visit me for a birthday or holiday. So I've decided I'm going to spend my vacation this year visiting my dear freinds that I never take the time to fly out and spend time with.

And I'm going to devote more of my time to taking care of my physicial and emotional health. About 2 months ago I startyed working out again and it's really done me a lot of emotional good and well as increasing my physical stamina. I'm also going to devote myself to attanding at least one meeting a week. And I'm going to take care of me when I need to be taken care of and not spend all of my energy on others.

maresie · ~*Service Worker*~

Taking care of me no matter what would have been seen as treason in my family of origin. I am only supposed to "give" to them. My younger sister sent me a card and no note, no photos nothing. I know this is in response to the fact I did not send her children generous gifts this year. I did not send them because of course I did not have the money but somehow I am supposed to find it to please her. I am done trying to please her or anyone else. Not that I want to revolt, irritate or annoy anyone but my health has been an issue for years now and I need to take care of it or it won't get better. I have to put the focus on me. 4 years ago I read a book on people pleasing it struck me then but I did not realise how much it cost me in terms of my behavior, worth, giving myself away. Now I have to work every day on making sure I am taken care of not in the who cares about anyone else way but in the giving up waiting for someone to come along and take care of me way. I know I cannot manage on a few scraps anymore. I have to give it my full scale attention and try to resurect my physical and emotional health.

maresie.

kclady · Member

Hi everyone. I haven't posted for a long time. Expecting the positive sounds wonderful and I am willing to give it a try. My problem is that I'm 55 years old and stuck in a job I hate. It's a management position and I definitely need the money even though it's really not that much. I know though that I couldn't start over somewhere else at the salary I make now. So, therefore, I feel trapped. I guess I just don't know what, if anything, to do. Thanks for giving me a chance to vent.

bobump · ~*Service Worker*~

Hmmm......give positive energy because it will be reflected back.

That almost seems like what got me here in the first place, do unto others not just as you would have them do unto you. Do undo others SO they will do unto you. Never works. LOL

But like love, compassion, empathy, or any other energy I think if we don't give to ourselves, we'll just give it all away. Love can grow exponentially, imagine how much we can have to give if we give to ourselves first.

Giving positive energy to ourselves first, allows God to use us as an amplifier, allowing us to go on and continue to give to ourselves as well as others. Yes not at the expense of us. Gotta put that oxygen mask on myself first as wrong as it seems.

Bob

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.