The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
On the 21st of December, I went to court, along with my A, and divorced him. We will stay together as partners,hopefully for life, but I feel so relieved now that I will no longer be financially responsible for his actions. He is sober now, but I know that sooner or later he will take a three-day binge again. He always does. I give him a year at the outside, and BAM!! I took back my maiden name, and the property settlement was easy as the house belongs to me, he has his income and I have mine. We split the other assets right down the middle, and we have no debts. PHEW!! What a relief. Now I can love this wonderful, elegant, happy, funny, loving, kind man without fear. This is the ultimate detachment!! I am not recommending this for anyone else, but I think it will work for me.
Congradulations! and Yes! what a relief not to be financially responsible for someone else if they cause major damage. If this is the thing that allows you to be set free, I commend you & wish you all of the best.
love, -K
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Wow! How brave was that of you. You go girl! I like the fact that you sound at peace with your decision which is huge. I wish the two of you a long, happy life together. Live it the way you and your want to. I'm so proud of you!
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
You sound at peace and that is so great. I'm sure this brings a great deal of relief and removes the anxiety of what might happen that you would otherwise risk being financially responsible for. It is so good to do such big things for yourself. The best thing is, what we do for ourselves toward being healthy and safe usually affects others in a positive way, if not by forcing accountability then by being a good example.
What an interesting solution and example of detachment with love! Definately a different solution to an all too common problem of being legally responsible for some of the actions the a's in our lives might take. Certainly reinforces that you are taking care of you first, while at the same time giving your relationship a whole new life by setting you free from some of the fear it was causing for you.
It might not work for everybody, but sounds like a great solution for you!
I wish you and your "significant other" a Happy Shiny New Year filled with many Blessings and Joy!
Wow is all I can say........what a thought,,, what an idea,,and to follow through with such a solution to the "problem". I have read alot of your postings and as always find something very interesting and positive in what you post....Thanks for sharing,,,,,,gardengal
(((Diva))) I too understand the relief you feel at the end of the divorce, the finality of it. I too took my maiden name back. I have been reading your posts -but really had no idea you were going thru this at this time. So nice to hear you are detached with love -starting The New Year as the new you, on your terms. Lots of well wishes now and always, Tracey
After this post I have received several responses as well as several private messages. Your response has been 100% positive! Thank you all for not only taking the time to say a few words, but for making them so kind and understanding. There comes a time when we do what we must to insure our own survival. The peace I feel is not to be described.
Not all of you will agree with this move on my part, and I appreciate and respect your right to disagree. At the end of the day, we are all in this together, and I love being a part of the family on this board.
I want to wish each of you a Happy New Year from the bottom of my heart. And remember, while I sometimes sound harsh and shockingly to the point, I respond out of true caring and love.
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I'm so proud of you. If my A slips I will do the same thing. We have talked about it.I will not be put though the hell of wondering is everything o.k. Will I have to pay for his mistakes. I do Love him with all my heart and he is a good guy. He is sober but if he slips I have told him I can not be held responsible for his actions. Best of luck I hope it works eaqch me posted. I'm glad someone else thinks the way I do.
Diva what struck me about your post was the love you still have and the empowerment you have just given yourself by taking back your maiden name. Have a great 2006 together. Luv Leo xx
