The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
You are reading from the book Today's Gift </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=2121>.
I came to see the damage that was done and the treasures that prevail. --Adrienne Rich
It takes great courage to face ourselves--to look honestly and fearlessly at our behavior, especially if we have done and said things we are not proud of. We may have caused a lot of sadness in our own and others' lives. It's not easy to look at. But let's remember, too, that what we do and say is not all of who we are. And let's also look at the treasures in ourselves--those things we have said and done that have brought great comfort, joy, and love into the lives of others. Beneath the negative parts of ourselves, deep within us, is a kernel of good. Let's look for that as well, and water it so it can grow--so we can grow into the persons we are meant to be.What is the best part of me, and how can I share it today?
##############rosie........oh wow! especially when you have the "goblins" in the closet like i did.....oh it was bad, but you know?? in all honesty, i KNEW that i was only REacting to my perp's life threatening assaults on me.....ALL i did was try to stay sane/alive....and the traits i developed as a result????? i can forgive me for....my inner child showed great courage and resourcefullness to do this......TOTAL honesty and waling THROUGH my fears were what was needed to do this and progress with it......
######rosie..i did LOTS of stuff i was not proud of....having to "comply" having to "submit" having to be "part of" that devient behaviour, as a helpless/ choiceless child....i literally made "friends with my killer" in order to have SOME structure in my life, he was ALL i had .....now that is messed up...but true....he made SURE i would have NOone but him......i caused sadness in my own life, and perhaps my mother...hating and blaming her for not rescueing me....for **enabling him.....but what ELSE does a child feel/ do????? the bad relationship choices i made.....the drinking and drugging i did..... this was NOT who i was/ am...it was the RESULT of something evil that happened to me......i was the walking dead.......
########rosie....lets DO look at the good in me....the comfort/ help/ support i give to others...the total honesty and respect i bring to a relationship......my love for animals...my dog rescue....my helping kids when i can......there is LOTS of good within me....and he didn't kill it.....the creator said "NO" to the darkness when it came to the final resting place of my soul......i am watering the GOOD.....starving the bad, by not fighting it, by giving it over to my HP.......i am NOT going to **spit in my own drinking well.............i am learning about and tapping into the good within me and my HP who is the **best within me..........
Thanks for your post. I struggle with step 4 for some reason. I like the way it says "treasures". I may be able to think there are treasures in me some day put there by my HP of course - not my own doing. Step 4 seems to focus on all my "bad stuff". Thanks for the reminder about balancing it out with the good.
