Hello everyone,

I'm writing here and I'm scared but I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because I'm afraid that what is going on in my crazy world doesn't belong here. I've been going to site after site trying to find out if I should belong to Al-anon and I'm starting to think I am. But I don't know. This might be long but hopefully I'll have some clarity or know what I'm meant to do. Maybe you can help.

I have had a life filled with alcoholics in my family and I refused to go down that path. when I realized last year I was dating one, I immediately ended it and continued on with my life. However two months after the break up I heard he was sick and in rehab. So I called. 9 months later we're living together.

he's drinking again. Tonight was my best friends leaving party. She's graduating from our university and moving back to the states (we go to school in London). I asked him to come with me becaues he feels I don't include him enough in my social life. Everytime he went to the bar he'd come back with maybe a drink for me, I was drinking slowly, and two pints for him. I calculated that for every drink I had he had three. He got a little too sensitive and after I nicely asked him to watch his drinking he stormed off and when he tried to get back in the door man wouldn't let him. When I finally got a hold of him he was walking "somewhere" and didn't know how to get back cause he couldn't remember. When I finally found him he told me the same story more then once forgetting that he had told me before.

This isn't the first time things have happened and tonight was the most mild. It has all just been pilling up and I finally broke. I finally realized that maybe he does have a problem and I know its effecting me...severely. I don't know how I'm meant to handle all of this. I don't want to be overbearing because, even when sober, he gets extremely defensive saying "why is everyone getting on me about this", but I know I can't just let it slide. I'm scared and tired and I don't know what to do.