The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My a called me on our son's cell phone Sunday because he knows I'll answer if I see it's our son. During our "Chat" I requested that he contribute to our cell phone bill. He refused because I got the phones and he doesn't have\want one. But he was talking on one of them! When I told him to forget it, it isn't worth the hassle(I was asking for $20 on a $80 bill)and I hung up. So later that day he said he would have the $20 on Monday and I should come over to the house and get it. He couldn't hand it to me then but had to find a way to get me to the house. I told him that he manipulate's every situation to his bennefit and that I wasn't buying into it anymore. Boundries, boundries, boundries! I think I got it now! :)
Later that day I found out that my families Christmas, which has been a tradition as long as I can remember is falling apart this year. I was crushed. I was so looking forward to it with my own home life in a shambles. After many tears I turned it around to see that I can travel from one house to another and take in the best of all of them. I just hope my son isn't too disappointed as he is thriving on traditions right now to help him deal with the loss of his stable home life. As much as our marriage was messed up he didn't witness fights, or see his father as a stumbling drunk. He is a functioning alcoholic that spends most of his free time reading, sleeping or golfing.
Then the next afternoon my 85 year old mother with severe osteoporosis fell and had a swollen ankle with bruising. After waiting four hours to get it x-rayed they say it's not broken. Take you HP! What a roller coaster of a week so far. It better palteau soon 'cuz it's only Tuesday.
I am so happy to see you! Your name should be: Manipulated No More :)Way to keep your boundaries. Just think of the holidays as starting anew with new traditions and new adventures. Whenever I get lost driving, which I do alot, I say, I am on an adventure. Other people may cuss and get angry if they miss a turn but hey, isn't it easier to try positive attitudes and thinking? I think so. So maybe tell your son you are on new adventures that are new and exciting. The two of you can form new traditions too. We had to travel to our son's apartment a couple years ago and it was just the 4 of us for new years and xmas. I hauled up all the same food we like but our son wanted to try cornish game hens LOL. Well, he didn't have the right cooking pans etc. and they did turn out okay but we smoked up the entire apartment LOLOL. My son felt good about picking something different to eat too. Our daughter was heading for the worst of her addiction and was very depressed. WE try to play board games every year since we have spent so many holidays with just the 4 of us because our families don't live close by. My daughter came late and could not smile or even talk to us. My son was doing an imitation of a bungy jumper and I was guessing for a game. He jumped off the couch and hit the glass coffee table and it flew up in the air and came down in 2 pieces and a pop stayed in the same place! My daughter laughed so hard she couldn't stop laughing LOLOL. It is a great memory for us now and we still laugh at him trying to do what looked like a donkey kick LOL. We all look forward to playing a board game every year but hey, if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. Thought you probaby would enjoy that story. I am glad your mom didn't break a bone, whew. Is she able to walk or does she need crutches? Keep us posted and update on how things do go for you. I see good things in sight for you :) your friend and buddy, cdb :)
Thanks for your story cdb. You're right the times that things don't work out tend to be the best memories. My niece likes to call them episodes.
My Mom has a splint on and is able to walk without any aid. She always has an "episode" around Christmas these last 8-10 years. I hope that was it for this holiday season.
I think I've got Christmas eve and morning firgured out now. Just when I think I do the manipulator moves in and delivers his crushing blow. It wouldn't be bad but of course he uses our son. My son is old enough to do what he wants but he hasn't caught on yet to his Dad's many tricks. He'll have to learn it for him self because I really don't want to bad talk his Dad. It only makes me look bad for doing so.
