The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Tomorrow, my 25 y.o. AD is coming back home after living out of state for almost 2 years. Just a little background: When she left home two years ago, she had lost her license after getting two DUIs in less than one year. Now, she has finished all of her required alcohol education classes and mandatory AA meetings and was able to obtain an out-of-state driver's license. Unfortunately, she is still actively drinking.
My AH and I are in the process of divorcing (I moved out over a year ago from our house). I live in a small one bedroom apartment, so there is no room for my daughter to stay here. And to be truthful, she and I have a strained relationship due to her drinking and her anger over me divorcing her dad, so living with me would not be an option.
I feel like I'm waiting for a huge storm to move into the area! I know that I really need to "Let go and Let God," but it's so hard not to worry about her moving back here and living with her alcoholic dad. He even told her that he has some leads on some possible cocktail waitressing jobs here! WTH??? Great parenting skills, Dad! NOT!!!
I'm really going to work hard on staying on "my side of the fence," but, boy oh boy, is this going to be a challenging time for our family. I really want things to work out for her and I'm glad she'll be living closer to me now, but I'm seeing all kinds of red flags right now.
It sounds like you have great awareness. Remember that the path to recovery is not always straightforward -- sometimes they have to go down before they can want to go up. Maybe if she gets into trouble on this path, that will be her bottom. It's a daily exercise in letting go and letting God, isn't it? So hard. Hugs.
Denial is a tremendous brick wall to get through. I do know I have met many many alcoholics who do indeed choose recovery. Some of them do get there. For some of them the road is treacherous and long. I am so grateful I found al anon and no longer take anyone's sobreity was a personal affront to myself.
The hardest lesson for me has been that whole let go and let God I keep picking it all up again. I am thinking of you sending lots of love and support as you navigate this new and improved muscle of program.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
