The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As we all are, I'm sure. I am always on one mission or another. My mother and son suffer from severe mental illness. I worked for mental health for several years before moving here and enjoyed it very much. THat has a lot to do with planning on psychiatric nursing. I find that I crave drama and enjoy helping others and being caught up in whirlwinds. If things are chaotic elsewhere, maybe I won't find the need to make my homelife as chaotic.
My husband, while being incredibly supportive of me returning to school, has expressed concern over my choice of fields. While working for mental health and psychiatrist on the ward I worked expressed concern that I seem to feed off of the emotions of others. if a lot of the patients were depressed, i was withdrawn. If most of the patients were manic, I was off the wall. After working eight hours on Thursdays and Fridays and 12 hours on Saturdays and Sundays I was usually so exuasted that I literally crashed on monday and slept all day. It's a field I am passionate about, ut it may not be healthy for me.
I still have plenty of time to decide. After all, i have not been accepted in the nursing program yet and there are many areas to choose from. I was accepted about a year ago, but did not attend because my family needed me so much at home, or so I thought. maybe it was the fear of failure that prevented me from trying at all. The most important thing is to get started and then work on the details.
I went through the psychiatric technician certification, and thought I wanted that. At the time, my ex was severely mentally ill with 4 diagnoses. That in itself was insane! Well, I have worked in the psychiatric nursing and it is mentally stressful, some of them on the manics are draining. Personally, if I would have to do it over, I would choose paralegal. The mental health system is very frustrating, depending on where you work and their philosophy. I have gone back and forth in the field, and I would just encourage you to be sure you will not be putting out $$ and not be making it. I have found the mental health field is so underpaid, and over worked. If the next shift doesn't show you have to pull a double. Maybe not where you live, but in the midwest that is the general policies.
Hope that feedback gave you food for thought. I don't want to be negative, I just wanted to share my personal experiences with you. I am all about helping others, if you feel that is what you would enjoy, I encourage you to do so. I just went in as they say with blinders on and it was quite shocking. Things they never told us.
Take care and God Bless
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..I brought my broken dreams to God Because He was my Friend..... At last I snatched them back and cried, "How could You be so slow?" "My child," He said, "what could I do? You never did let go?"
The thing about being "caught up in other ppl's dramas" is that it takes the focus off of ourselves.
As long as we don't face our problems, we can just float along & not deal with our own issues, wants, needs.
I have discovered that one person cannot do everything, one person can't save everyone, many of these ppl that seek out other's to rescue them - don't even want to be "saved or rescued" -- it's like in some families of abuse or simple neglect, when u are growing up some ppl only ever get attention when they are sick, wounded or having a crisis (trauma drama, I like to call them).
I know about this all too well, being ACOA myself but also I have an Aunt like this, would help everyone but her own daughter -- anyone, strangers even... they are both very sick in the head today & cannot nor do they want to get along.
I have learned through all of this coming to light (w/ my step-dad being so deep in the disease of alcohloism & gambling & sex addiction -- all apparently a part of this insidious disease) that I was loving other ppl to death ~ I mean that I was loving everyone else SO MUCH that it was killing me, 'cause I never was saving any love for myself. I am trying to learn how, now.
The truth of the matter is, only we can save ourselves & only we can love urselves. If we don't who would want to love us? but another sick, co-dependent individual.
love, -K
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
I totally relate to the adrenaline rush you get for the chaos...I crave chaos..it is like a total high for me.I am drawn to helping others...It makes me feel good to know that for a few mins out of my busy day that I took the time to help a troubled person...I still struggle with this everyday...
I tend to take the focus off of me and try to fix something else...Just like a broken toy..I want to put everything together,but I have to face it...Life isn't perfect... Everything breaks..and some just cannot be fixed
here are some lyrics..I like them maybe you will also
BROKEN By: Seether f/Amy Lee Submitted By: evanescencefan12@xxxx.xxx
I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away I keep your photograph And I know it serves me well I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
Because I'm broken when I am lonesome and I don't feel right when you go away
You've gone away u don't feel me ...anymore
The worst is over now and we can breathe again I wanna hold you high you steal my pain away There's so much left to learn and no one left to fight I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
Because I'm broken when I am open and I don't feel like I am strong enough
Because I am broken when I am lonesome and I don't feel right when you go away
Because I'm broken when I am open and I don't feel right now I am strong enough
Because I am broken when I am lonesome and I don't feel right when you go away
Because I am broken when I am lonesome and I don't feel right when you go away
You've gone away You don't feel me...anymore
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~life is like a box of chocolates you never know whatcha gonna get~
Powerless,