The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I decided today to go back to school. I want to start next month by taking one or two classes at the local community college. I have two years of courses, but think I would like to get into psychiatric nursing. In fact, i have thought long and hard about this and know this is what I want to do. With the kids at their dads, this would be a good time. Maybe turn a negative into a positive.
The thing that I am not sure about is becoming a Gaurdian Ad Litem. I thought about it several years ago, but was not ready for that kind fo responsibility. I know I have what it takes and am familiar with the child protective services and legal system because I was raised within the system. I assisted to investigate abuse cases for disabled adults with my previous job. The question I am asking is if this is a good idea or asking for trouble. Am I just going from worrying about my husband and his addiction to the difficulties of these children?
I had to find out what a guardian ad litem was, but now I know. With your husband and his addiction, you can't help him. With these kids, you can make a difference! It's a different kind of problem and with this, I think you could really get something out of it. I'm new to this message board, but not new to living with drugs. I get a lot out of volunteering and it makes me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile, not waiting around for my husband to get home from one of his excursions. And it makes me feel good when I'm appreciated. We can all use that from time to time. Good luck!
I really admire you wanting to give of yourself, but being a guardian is such a committment. I would stop and really think, do I want to bring another troubled person into my life? You have had soo many changes in such a short time already. I am definately not saying no, I agree it could be just what you need to keep you busy. But we in Alanon like to see everyone take lots of time in our decisions because we do ride such a rollercoaster. You know I am here if you want to talk. I too am familiar with the system.
josey
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Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
I very much agree with Josey on this one. Take your time, weigh things up, most of all put yourself and your own needs first.
My husband died, after a long-term illness (he had a stroke and was in a wheelchair for 4 and half years).
A very short time after he died, the day centre invited me to be a volunteer. Also, someone I met during his illness asked if I would be prepared to be a paid carer for her mother.
It was very tempting to say yes to both - I was at a loose end, I had been a 24hr carer. Now, I am glad that I said no to both offers. Circumstances had put me in a situation not of my making, when I had choices, it was so important to sit down and really work out what I want from my life. (I still dont know, exactly!!)
Like Josey, I would not say no - but, take care, examine your motivation, we alanoners are usually kind people, but sometimes take on others' problems. An eyeopener for me was when the "hierarchy of priorities" was explained - God, self, family, friends. Believe me, for many years, I did not even figure on my internal list of priorities!
My son has recently spent some time in psychiatric ward. A good psychiatric nurse is worth her/his weight in gold!
Good luck, whatever you decide, please post again and let us know how it is all working out.
