The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Last night my sponsor reminded me admitting powerlessness means letting go of self will so there is room for God's will to come in. I hear all the time in Alanon that you can't fill a cup that's already full. That Alanon helps us let go of a lot of the crap we bring in with us so that there's room for something better. Talking to my sponsor last night I pictured pouring out a little of my cup of self will and waiting for God to come in to fill the rest of me up. A little bit at a time.
I'm having a CAT scan today. On Tuesday I had a migraine and at the same time lost feeling in my right hand except for if I whacked my pinky finger on something, in which case it hurt like blazes. My doctor thinks I should "check it out." Could be nothing or could be any number of things. "Maybe...," "What if...," "Could be..."
I've been cancer free for a year and a half. I'm young. I want kids. I want to travel. I don't want any more medical snafus. Sometimes I feel like a two year old stamping my feet and having a tantrum...lol. Well, there's nothing i can do about it but take the next step.
Someone at a meeting said that anxiety is a little flutter that comes into your consciousness and goes, come and goes. Worry is a wall you can't see around. Today I have a lot fewer walls, and anxiety I can usually turn over. This CAT scan would have been a wall a year ago, but today it's a flutter. Which is nice to think about. I must have dumped enough self will out of my cup and allowed some more of God's will in for that to happen for me.
Anyway, prayers would be appreciated. Thanks! Love you guys.
Good thing you emptied some stuff from your cup yesterday.
When I am in a frightful situation, I do the same as you, I pray, and ask others for prayers. I am open and honest regarding the situation, but I also spend some time asking for strength and clarity on the situation.
Sometimes our will is not what is God's will. Sometimes what we feel is a terrible awful thing right now turns into being a preparation for something down the road. Perhaps your battle with cancer last year was a preparation for something in the future, which in turn will be another preparation...
In your prayers, ask God for clarity, patience, strength, and courage. It works for me
