The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am going to attend my first alanon meeting tonight, alone. I am just curious what to expect. Does everyone sit in a circle and tell their stories? Just curious. any feed back is wonderful.
Meetings vary from place to place. I've been in meetings where they have circular tables, where they have chairs lined up around the room, where they have a table where the Chair sits and then everyone else sits in chairs facing the Chair, and so on.
Meeting formats can also vary. There are Beginner meetings, Step meetings, discussion meetings, Speaker meetings, etc. They all start with the Alanon preamble (same as our online meetings here). Most of the meetings I've attended have been ones where the chosen Chair has picked a topic and then we share on that topic as to how it relates to ourself. My first local meeting always reserved 10 to 15 minutes at the end of meeting for any newcomer who wanted to share their story or ask questions, etc.
I hope you enjoy your first meeting!!! Glad you're here!
Luv, Kis
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Let your light shine in the darkness. "I can't just bring my mind to meetings...I must also bring my heart."
Good for you for getting up the courage to go to your first meeting!!!
This is the average meeting format (from ones that I have been to in my 8 years)
you show up, and there is usually coffee, and people busy setting up, putting chairs up, setting out literature etc.
If someone doesn't greet you right off the bat, just find a chair. Most groups are in a circle either around a table, or just empty space in the middle. Some groups will have a collection basket in the middle, (for the 7th tradition "Each group is self supporting through it's own voluntary contributions, feel free to donate, or not, it is NOT expected)
The meeting will be opened by the chair person. It usually entails standing for a moment of silence to remember those who are still suffering, or the serenity prayer, or the Lord's Prayer. Each group is different, suiting their own purpose.
If you identify yourself as a newcomer, there is usually a newcomers greeting, either read from suggested alanon literature, or a person will welcome you and give a breif about the program, and suggest you come to 6 meetings.
Then is the preamble of the twelve steps, usually followed by everyone reading one or two steps and traditions.
Most groups will have a topic to follow, and might read a few captions from some alanon literature.
People take turns around the circle, sharing their experience, strength and hope with the topic. You do not have to share. You can "pass"
The meeting closes with the suggested alanon closing, and usually a prayer etc. Most groups also give hugs at the end, some people take some time to get used to those
Expect a newcomer's package and a local meeting list. If you do not get one, ask for one. There are many valuable pamphlets and usually a phone list.
I hope that answers your questions. Share tomorrow about your experience. I am excited to hear!
Some other stuff - no one will mind, or care, if you cry - there is always lots of kleenex. No one will mind if you can't say anything. Everybody there remembers what it was like to come to the first meeting - nobody starts this program because their life is going so well. They will not pressure you, or expect anything of you. If you want to know anything, just ask anybody. There is no leader or boss. No one expects newcomers to know what to do - if you happen to do something that is not usually done at those meetings, no one will care or hold it against you. I have never been involved with such a welcoming group, and such an easy group to get along with. I've done a lot of volunteering, and community stuff in my life, and sometimes groups can be exclusive, but alanon is not like that - we may not be perfect, but we are all really trying to be better people, and it shows.
Another thing, don't be surprised if the meeting is kind of fun. I go to one meeting that is held in the same church, and at the same time as the AA meeting. My husband tells me that the AAs can hear us laughing from their room - I think they wonder what we're laughing about!
Just remember that who ever is there was once "new" as well. I cried at the meeting for at least a couple of months, and I couldnt say much of anything at first. Just remember we who sit in those rooms may it be on chairs around a table or couches etc, have been exactly where you are right now. There is no need to be ashamed or worry about saying something "stupid", we understand where so few others who havent been affected by alcohol/addiction does. It may seem confusing at first,,and please keep an open mind and dont go in with any expectations except that you are on the road to progress of helping "yourself". We have a saying please attend at least 6 meetings,,and if you are not satisfied,,we will gladly refund your misery.
