The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Giving up is not giving in, nor is it failing. It is no longer needing to be right. --Anonymous
When someone tells us a riddle, we may give up if we don't know the answer. We give up because we are tired of trying to get it, or because we are eager to find out what it is. Giving up in other situations, may be more difficult. We may need to give up eating something that isn't healthy for us. We may need to give up trying to win an argument. We may need to give up old clothes that we love which no longer fit us. When we don't want to give up, it may be because we have forgotten the knowledge, health, or peace of mind we gain by doing so. In each case, giving up means growth and going on with our lives. Giving up may mean many different things in different situations, but it does not mean doing nothing. It means doing what seems right for us and giving up the expectation that what happens will be exactly what we want.What can I gain by giving up something that is harmful today?
#####ROSIE.....oh to me in the past, giving up WAS defeat...AND giving in.....boy that brings back triggers in the past.......in that hell hole giving up was to lose my soul...to lose my choice....to lose my innocense and ability to trust in anything.......to lose my RIGHT to be safe......to lose ME!!! ALL of me....i was forced to "give up ME"......so i guess that is why i have to be "in control" otherwise i just feel helpless and i panic and than i explode with anger over my being "victimized" by life AGAIN!!!! i tell myself that this is NOW, and i am SAFE.... and its OK to release it.....its hard though, i am gaining SLOW ground on this very deep seated issue......NOW i give up becuz i am TIRED and worn out of trying to "force" the issue.......giving up always felt like being robbed, but now i try to do myself talk and say "now rosie, if you give UP refined sugar you feel better/ less anxiety" and than i use the maple syrup and i am ok........giving up in arguments was hard for me 2...i had to get the last word...the winning "shot"......now??? i can just state my case, set a boundary if i need to...respect the other guy's opinion and live and let live....i can disagree and still respect the other's opinions...........i really really really DO want to give up stuff that doesn't serve me anymore.....i think the thigs that i don't quite yet??? maybe a comfort zone??? i try to figure out "whats the payoff" of keeping it?? or winning it???? ..giving up this old doggie i tried to rescue was a very dificult thing, but i knew that i HAD to detach with LOVE, or else i would be "purchasing" trouble and heartbreak more than i already got out of it....knowing when to "cut my losses" is something i am learning...slowly but i am learning....this "rescue doggie" was a BIG breakthrough for me....giving up...giving up the being in control of the issue......detaching with love......knowing when it was time to "fold my cards" and leave the game........i just try to do what is right....right for me...right for the unvierse.....i trust that if i am taking RIGHT care of me, it is RIGHT all around........no expectations of what is gonna happen next.....i detached....i took care of me.....whatever will be will be........giving up the little old doggie, was the RIGHT thing to do....SHE wanted to "go home" i could see it in her eyes, when i found her at the pound.........I wanted to detach with love, and go on to save the doggies that ARE placeable......it hurt, but it was RIGHT.......i learned that i don't have to suceed at everything to feel good about me..........as long as i do what is right......have a heart......have good intentions....and do my BEST....i am ok......thank you
