The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I wanted to share my story with you. I am just starting to realize that I need some support.. I can't deal with my "A" alone anymore. Came here for some guidance on how to start caring for myself.
I have been with him for 8 yrs. Some days are wonderful. He is my best friend. And then, he's cold & miserable with just one drink. He's never been physically abusive, always verbal... and extremely sarcastic. Also, he always wants to have sex. For some reason he thinks he can perform! Sorry for being so blunt!
When we met, I was happy and thin!! Now I have been diagnosed with manic depression, and have gained over 50 lbs. I go days without showering, hoping that if I am not clean, he won't touch me. My house is usually messy, because I don't have the motivation to do ANYTHING!! And I have started meds.. they seem to be working because I am getting better with daily chores, and the showering thing! And I am here
I have so much more to say.. but I would be here for hours!
Hi, Joann... and welcome. It looks like things are brightening up a bit for you and that you are getting some of your motivation back. Glad that you found this place... don't forget to check out the meetings, too.
Do you go to any f2f (face to face) Al-Anon meetings in your area?
Welcome Joanne. I'm glad you found this place. So many of us have come here once we've hit our own bottom. Now there is no where but up with the love and support.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
Welcome!! You have taken the first step to help you! and it appears you are doing something good here for you, and that is awsome. Please try to come to our online meetings,, i think this will help you so much, and it has a really great and informative
group., that room is always open, and some is always there, so you can come and talk anytime.... Please jon us!!! Kittle
Welcome...I am glad you found this site.I don't know what it is like to be married to an alcoholic,but I am 17,and both my mom and dad are a's Growing up was difficult,but what kept me going is knowing that there was a rainbow on the other side.There is believe me.Oh and for the meds.I take meds also.The medication works,but takes some time to kick in.
You are on the right track..hey you came here,and you are not alone...
"We aren't perfect. The welcome we give you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you. After a while, you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the same way we already love you"
"Keep coming back it works if you work it you're worth it"
Lauren~
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~life is like a box of chocolates you never know whatcha gonna get~
you will find people of all ages here.... all with stories to tell and advice to share. we have good days and bad days.... always keep posting... we will always pull you throu on your bad days. no one judges... if we talk... the problems eases slightly in our minds... even if you dont have too many friends in your area we are your friends in here... the ones who understand what your going throu. keep posting. and learn to love yourself.
Glad you found this site. Step 1 says: Admitted I am powerless over alcoholism and my life has become unmanageable. Usually accepting that our lives are unmanageable is the easy part. There is no denying it. But accepting that we are powerless over alcoholism after we've spent years of our lives trying to stop a loved ones drinking......that can be much harder to accept.
What makes it easier is finding a face to face meeting in our area, getting a sponsor and learning all the tools this program has to offer. Sounds like you're on the right path.
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Kathy S --
~*I trust my Higher Power that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my life today.*~
Start out slowly, little steps. As our life becomes more organized it becomes easier to deal with.
I know when showering seems to become a chore, I opt for a bath instead. I pamper myself and light some candles. try some short walks, they can help you build up energy.
Remember , you are important, and you do not have to do everything alone.
Keep posting, and come back often, you deserve it.
We here have similar situations. My "a" husband is also verbally and emotionally abusive. He slowly beat me down (emtionally) over 22 years and I allowed it to happen. He also was always wanting sex and I got to where I couln't because I had no respect for him anymore. I hung in there though until just before I left last month. Now he's trying to control me from 15 miles away. And when it doesn't work he gets real busy on the phone trying to get to me. I just don't answer but I do still listen to his voice mail's. I won't even listen to them if he starts in again over something as silly as trying to borrow the vacuum. I told him I refuse to share custody of the vacuum and I sent him to Goodwill.
You too will find your own way out of the situation you're in. Everyone has to do it their own way. For me it took 3 years. First I walked into Ala-non with such fear only to get hugs and support. I had to get a job and save money. I took up yoga and knitting for relaxing. I started on anti-depressants and started seeing a therapist. When I started each of these things I did it thinking it would help me live with him. But as time went on I realized that even when he was sober most of his "faults" were still there. It was a sad time when I realized that nothing I did would help me live happily with him. That's when I started looking for an apartment. I had to have all my ducks in row or I would have crazy just trying to get out and get out for good. I really think it will be for good but I'm waiting until the first of the year to have my lawyer start the divorce papers.
Joann I pray you'll find your own path and I think Ala-non will help you to do this. Meanwhile be good to yourself and know we all here understand. And remember to take baby steps and be patient with yourself. You're worth it.
