The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
my last job I had a new manager come in. He seemed to be nice. He told me about his daughter dying from cancer at the age of 11. My heart went out to him. We went on a few appts and he kept telling potential clients about his daughter dying. It became obvious he was trying to get their sympathy so they would do business with us. I was pissed!!!! In the beginning, I offered words of support and comfort. He took advantage of this. Later I noticed something very scary about him, so I tried to avoid him as much as possible. He came up behind me while I was sitting at my desk and started massaging the back of my neck. I froze. He walked away and the fear came rushing in. I reported him to HR. Of course they did a formal investigation but could not find any evidence. Like he would admit to it. Please! I told them I did not feel comfortable working for him. I was told I had no choice. I was backed into a corner, so I chose to leave. I would not put myself in harm's way. I have been looking for a new job and things have gotten bad financially. I am a single parent with no support. I received a call last week from someone in the office. I was told he was fired, as well as the HR Manager, and Divisional VP(alcoholic) for unethical business conduct. I am considering contacting an attorney to sue my former employer for the months I have been unemployed. I want nothing more than the salary I would have made during my unemployment. I talked with my friends about what happened and I heard so many stories of being touched inappropriately and harassed my managers and bosses. I am considering purchasing a stun gun so I can protect myself if this were to happen again. I have reason to believe I will be offered a job today for a company I interviewed with. The owner told me that I will be working with him daily for the next three months. There have been some things he has asked that I feel are inappropriate, but I could be just hypervigilant. He asked me what my hobbies are. I told him I enjoyed hiking. He then asked if I went hiking by myself because that would be dangerous. Later on he told me that his weakness is money because he is an egomaniac. Then later he asks me to call to schedule a 2nd interview. I call and he tells me, "Someone just walked in. Hold on sweetheart". Now I am really freaking out about him calling me sweetheart. He is married and in his 60's. I don't know if I am being paranoid, but this has me on edge. I NEED a job desperately, but I think I would wind up a basketcase if something were to happen again. I need a reality check, so if someone could help me I would really appreciate it. THanks.
As for the comment question about hobbies. That isn't such a bad question. Sometimes employers like to have a well rounded individual. Many times skills you may use in a hobby may cross over or help you in your job. My hobby, which I also sometimes perform as a community service has taught me some valuable lessons in people skills and has brought things about myself to my attention I otherwise would have not seen.
My best job interview comeback I had was this. A VP interviewing me told me that he had some serious reservations about hiring me. I answered, "Well tell me what they are and lets see what I can do to alleviate those reservations." I got the job. :)
The sweetheart comment I'm on the fence on. He's in his 60's and as sad as it is to say, it may be a habit of his form a day when this was not understood to be unacceptable. It would also get my spidey sense up though to make sure any other behavior can be cut off at the pass. I know you are in a finacially strapped situation. I wonder if it would be possible to bring this concern to his attention should you get the job offer. Also, will you interview w/ any other people? Maybe you can ask them how he is to work for.
Best of luck kissers {{{{{{{Kisser}}}}}}}}
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
One problem with living with alcoholism, is that we start to lose faith in our instincts. So often we are lied to, so much of our lives don't make sense, so we just don't listen to that 'little voice'. So often we get all bent out of shape about things that don't happen, and then allow ourselves to be lied to. The whole 'hunch' system is out of whack. So, I would look at this carefully, giving weight to my suspicions, but also looking at the facts. Was it just his words, or was there something 'off' in his manner? Would you be working alone with him, behind closed doors, outside of the office...? I like the idea of talking to others who work for him, and also like the idea of raising it directly with him, though that could backfire. If he is just a little off, it coud scare him into behaving himself. If he's a real creep, it could raise his interest. So I guess what I'm saying is - trust those instincts, God gave them to you for a reason, but also look at the situation as head on and realistically as possible. Investigate further, and if more things set off alarms, trust them.
If there is any cheap way for you to look into the possiblity of getting some compensation from your previous work, I'd look into it. If only to ease your financial pressure so you don't jump into something that is not right for you.
