The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So he said I'll come so we can talk and I can help you out since this separation is hard on you. I said go see your mother and then come by. I told him Saturday I was going to town to get Thanksgiving groceries, go an Alanon meeting, and see my mother. So he stayed in my/our house and I drove 2 hours to my meeting. He said that he would start chopping wood for me and I said that he should just leave it alone. The reason I need a woodchopper is because he left me and now he wants to come back to solve the problem that he caused. I am not trying to be a martyr but I am trying to get a perspective on why my husband left and then keeps coming back to help me.
Anyway, I went to my Alanon meeting and it was very powerful. When people share their problems it really helps me grow. I took a nice drive with my mother. This is unusual because I have trouble being with her but she is elderly and sometimes I need to do these things with her.
So am I perplexed with myself. Most Saturday nights I have been spending by myself. Sometimes I feel very lonely. Now my helpful A is here with me even though he doesn't want to be married. He is zoning out watching TV like he use to so not much has changed. Except that I am posting here to take care of myself. Someone at the Alanon meeting said that you get rid of AIDS easier then get rid of the alcoholic. He is even planning Thanksgiving and Christmas with me and the kids. I think that I need to work on some boundaries.
I agree with you on setting some boundaries. You just have to figure out what you want them to be.
Glad you spent time with your mother. Sometimes driving around like that, versus doing other things takes the pressure off. It's soothing to be a passenger. And you can always tell her that you need to concentrate on your driving if she's getting on your nerves. Now I on the other hand, find it really difficult to drive with my sister. She is such a bad driver that it scares me. I don't drive, and even I know how bad she is! So we watch the kids plays soccer, etc.
I think you'll find that as time goes along, you'll start to feel less lonely. There is a difference between feeling lonely, and enjoying one's solitude.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
