The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My husband had his evaluation today. I spoke to him this morning, he told me how worried he was. He said what about the bills? What if I get one of the jobs I applied for etc?
Then he said we have another problem, the rehab is $200 a day co-pay and even if I go outpatient there is a co-pay after insurance. I told him to just be honest with the counselor and see what happens. He said then what? I told him to cross that bridge when he came to it. He seemed okay when he left.
He called me this afternoon and told me that they where putting him in Detox tonight. He said he knows I had another bus run, but his parents refused to drive him and could I help. I asked what time he needed me, and told him I would be there. I called my boss, explained the situation and she told me to go, she would take care of my run.
He was actually in good spirits on the drive. He didn't ask for any promises, didn't try to bargain or blame. Okay when he saw the place, he didn't look happy, it is on the grounds of the abandoned State Mental Institution and when the place was active it was creepy looking. With the Main buildings dark and boarded and the grounds overgrown, and in the dark, the place is really creepy looking. The rehab is in an a building in the back, and it is very old and kind of run down looking, but the people seemed pleasant.
He will only be in for Detox, then IOP. They said if they find during Detox that he needs longer they will approve inpatient extended. The great part is that the counselor he saw, arranged for the County to pay the co-pays. We don't have the means and his parents will not help. This is better he is doing it without them.
He asked if I would pick him up when he is ready to come out, I told him to call me and I would. I had to stay till after his physical evaluation. They said it was to make sure he was not drunk or pregnant. We both laughed at that. I knew he wasn't drunk, and he came back out with the nurse and she said "okay you can go now, he isn't pregnant." Then he gave me a hug and kiss, told me he loved me, and whispered in my ear that he is going to do it this time.
I don't know what is going to happen. I am proud of him, he did it in spite of them and even found a way with the counselor to pay for it. I don't know where he will go when he gets out, and the funny part is I'm not worried about it, I believe it will work out.
While I was speaking to my boss, she asked me to let her know if there is anything she can do to help. I am going to go and speak to her in the morning. I work for very good people, and have been there for a long time. They have always been able to depend on me, so I am going to see if maybe I can get an advance on my pay and some extra hours. It has been a good day, things have been working out, I think I will follow it up by asking for the help I need. All she can say is no.
While I was driving out that dark creepy road out of the rehab, there where a few deer playing by the side of the road. they where so cute and sweet looking, and the place didn't look so creepy anymore. Maybe it was someone trying to tell me that things are not always as bad as they look. I couldn't help but smile.
For tonight, I'm home with my kids, my husband is where he needs to be, and my world seems kind of peacfull. I don't know what tomorrow will bring so I'm going to enjoy the peace.
Okay, I've been down this road before, and I've been disapointed. I'm not going to get nuts about this. But he took the step. He did the work. He found a way to pay for it. It's up to him now, but I will be here, and I will stand by him. I will hope and pray, that this time he will accept recovery. If he doesn't I will be upset and I will cry. But after all is said and done, no matter what; I'll be okay.
I'll say a prayer for your family that your husband finds what he needs to 'get it' this time. It has to come from within him and I know it must be frustrating waiting for the miracle to happen. Just let him know you are there for him as long as he is trying, and encourage his progress with optimism and love.
Sounds like he has made some progress, even if he still isn't perfect.
Sounds as if your doing well through this as well. At worst it's a peaceful time for you to gather yourself. At best it's the beginning of his recovery.
Your family are included in my prayers.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
(((((((Jeannie))))))) OMG your post made me cry. It gives me hope that an A can make a decision to do what will make them healthy!!! Even if it's one day at a time. Thank you so very much. My A is on day 4, at home and trying to whip this by himself. I hope he can, but I work at an out-patient treatment center and I don't think he can. I have asked my HP to heal him and that's all I can do. You and yours are in my heart and prayers. Again thank you.
Jeannie, I'm really happy for you and your A too. Seeing the deer was especially noted by me. I look for things like that and usually find meaning. Native Indian belief is that a deer is symbolic of gentleness and strength.. You seem to have both.
God Bless Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Well one step at a time and the money problems have been sorted by a higher power (whoever that may be). Isn't it great how you can have such a positive turnaround in 24 hours. Your husband will gain a bit of self-esteem by not having his parents holding the purse strings as well. I too noted the significance of the deers- animals are messengers keep your eyes open in the next couple of weeks. Now that everyone else is sorted out for now,sit down and look after you. Luv Leo xx
Wow, He is in treatment, you don't have to deal with the in-laws, the county will be paying to co-pays, he had your support -you are working on your program with peace of mind knowing you did all anyone could ever have asked while getting peaceful time with the children. That's alot!
YAHOOO!!!! I know we're not supposed to get our hopes up, but that was a huge step for him to take being under the influence of his parents like he is!!!!
It's a great step, but you are fully recognizing that it is only a step.... Not a time to allow your hopes to get too out-of-hand here, but a time to breathe a bit.... One of the very consistent things about OUR program, is that no matter what our A's our doing - our role remains pretty constant - work on ourselves, and take care of ourselves....
I wish you both all the best.
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Your post made me smile! It sounds like you are working the program for you not him. It also sounds like you and your husband are talking to each other without alot of interference from outside. Enjoy your peace.
First off, I want to say I am so happy for you that he took that step to better himself.
The main thing is I want to thank you for posting it here for others like me to read. My A has finally admitted that he needs some rehab, and with us both being on SS I know we don't have the money for it. Your post gives me hope that if it is meant to be, that it will work out so it is possible.
Thank you again, Jeannie, and I wish only the best recovery for you and your husband.
Take care,
FOTB
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Remember yesterday, Dream of tomorrow, Live for today.
There is a peace that comes when you know that they are tucked in a place that is safe for them. I remember feeling tremendously relieved when my was in in-patient, and then back in detox when he relapsed. You know that are in a place where they can't harm themselves. While the road to recovery is scary and a part of you doesn't want them to face the issues they need to (because the emotional turmoil is great.), you know in your heart that they have to.
I hope and pray that he does well. You will be okay. I can read it in your posts. What an inspiration you are to others. There is always hope for those we love. He's lucky to have you. Now all you have to do is keep the mother-in-law at bay.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Hi everyone,