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How many f2f meetings do you get to each week? Im trying a new place this Sat - find it difficult to get out during the week. I have both a teen and an A husband at home.
I have 3 children ages 14, 13 and 9 so I understand your trepidation going to meetings in the evening and leaving them home w/ an active A.
I have found 2 during the day that I can make. I found a Monday night one that has Alateen at the same time so I may be able to make that. I found out that they'd even allow my 9yo to come to the Alateen. My 14yo has no interest in attending alateen because she is in denial of the entire problem. I'm the ahole for saying there is a problem according to her.
It's a tough situation as I've had lawyers tell me that if I'm to go for custody to not leave the kids alone w/ her too. I admit I did do that the other day though because it was just THAT bad in the house for me.
So admittedly, I'm not looking at one day at time but doing too much what if thinking. And by not going at night before I wasn't taking care of myself. As I've read her and in chat before, you gotta put on the oxygen mask and take care of yourself before you can help others. I'm learning tho that I need to take care of myself the best I can so my children have a healthy example and that I will have the energies to devote to them.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
I have three small kids at home. My A is newly sober (in the first year). He goes to all the meeting at night and in the day. I'm only online for right now. It is to much to pay a babysitter. Money is very tight right now. But it is working only taking one day at a time. Go to as many as you can their is no set number that is right. If it not working getting to the f2f meeting try the ones on line.
I have three young children 6, 3, and 2. My "A" is also active. For the most part he is very supportive of my going to alanon. He was very active in AA and NA a few years ago, so he does understand the importance of meetings to those who want the recovery. I am able to attend meetings 3 times a week. I go in the evenings. In my area I could go to one more meeting, but that is Saturday night, and that is family night for us.
I try to catch the meetings here on line, but right now the time that the meetings are, I can not make it to them. There are morning meetings here, I can not attend those due to work, the evening meetings are at 6:00pm for me. I don't even walk in the door sometimes until 5:30-6:00pm. So for now I go to my f2f, and come to this board, and use my phone.
This board has been a life saver for me, it is always here .
Much Love,
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
The more the merrier..... could you perhaps have your teen go to a friend or neighbor's house on one night a week? Your needs, for quantity of meetings, is unique to you - I found I liked two per week while I was in "relative crisis", and then one per week when things are a little more normal...
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I can certainly understand your trepidation about leaving your child home. For me I had to trust that my HP would take care of things at home while I attended as many meetings as I could. Some weeks it was 3 or 4, other weeks it was just one. My children knew what was going on - and my older ones were left with a plan if things got ugly. I was fortunate to have family close and good neighbors who when needed were there to help protect my children while I gained footing in my recovery. I once had someone tell me that I was being selfish to my children by leaving them in that situation. I quietly explained to them that it was actually an act of love as I was learning how to break the cycle that I had grown up in. My children appreciated that fact.
Only you can decide how many meetings are good for you. Remember that when you cant make a f2f you can always come to the online meeting/chatroom for support, call a program friend, read literature. Do whatever you can to make it through till the next meeting. Best of luck to you.
Karen
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Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all!
Karen
