The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I really miss my brother a whole lot..He is 3 years younger than me. He lives with my father..He should not be there.My dad is very manipulative and abusive.I have called children services,but my dad has threatened my brother to be quiet or he will kill me,or someone else.The system is soo corrupt.My dad makes friends with these social workers.He knows h ow to work the system big time.
What I mostly hate about him is that he was never a father to my brother and I.The only reason he has my bro is bc of child support.HOw lame is that.I know he does not love him.Matthew,my brother thinks my dad is the best dad in the world.He is not.
He's charming,but deceiving,and IT bugs the shit outta me..It's like I need to testify against him.I just need to gather the strength to do it. I know it will be difficult,but it is for the best.A monster like him should be in jail for what he did to me.He says he changed,but he has not.The last time I thought he changed I went over,and I was a prisoner.He knocked me out like everyday bc I told him he was wrong.I told him everything he did not want to hear.
I didn't care about the beating.I grew a tolerance to it..so it did not hurt at all.I wanted him to hit me so I could have proof.But whenever I did tell the police,they questioned him,and he had my bro say he hit me bc we got into a fight.
My brother and I used to fight,but never that physical.It makes me sick,that he threatens my brother to say that he did it.
I am just scared that my bro one of these days is gonna piss him off,and he's gonna blow,and end up hurting my brother.I have a lawyer,but all I can do is pray to GOd that my brother is safe,and for God to open his eyes.I tried to set an example by showing him there is a way out through school if he ever feels like it.
I went back this last time to my dads to get my brother,but my dad ended up keeping me hostage,and stuff.I was scared
He locked me in my room,took away my glasses at night,I could no go outside,I had to be next to my dad and step mom all the time.I had 20 mins in the bathroom,and had to eat certain things at certain times.
He got worse when he drank.He would just go out in a rage,and destroy anything in his way.I remember one day about a year ago I told him the truth,and he dragged me off my bed,hit me in the head,and was about to throw a chair at me,but I ran.
He would slap me any time he felt like it.I was his punching bag.I didn't mind just as long as my brother was safe.I always protected my brother.I remember once when my brother was 3,and he wanted attention from my dad,and he broke his glasses.My brother was lil but he already knew that he would get attention from my dad by doing something bad.Ne ways my dad picked him up,and was about to throw him...I hit my dad as hard as I could so he would drop him..then I ran and hid my bro in the dryer...I was only 5 then,but I knew I had to protect him..
I love him that's why.I am soo sad now that I cannot see him,my dad will kill him if he talks to me...I guess all I can do is hope,and have faith in God
Lauren~
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~life is like a box of chocolates you never know whatcha gonna get~
God's will, God's plan. Yes, continue to have faith in your HP. It will keep you in "today" and leave the worries of tomorrow to Him.
I worried a lot about my sister back when I was young, like you do with your brother now, she truly thought her daddy could do no wrong. When I was younger I used to say that my sister got to live in the fantasy world with rose-colored glasses as a kid, and I got the brutal reality of what both my parents were sadly capable of. Like you, I was the "chosen" punching bag for both parents, and the one my father molested...not her.
My father also knew all too well how to work the system, he was not in top-clearance military intelligence for nothing. He knew what he could get away with and still be able to cover it up if necessary. But, you know?, the years have passed, I am fine, actually, better than fine. My sister will not speak to me to this day because she always blamed me for my parents divorce and in her mind the molestation was a cruel lie that I told. Both my parents disowned me, not because I was a bad child...I was a really good kid...but because of their own diseases not allowing them to love. But, the really awesome part is, God provided a very close "family" for me in other ways with more love than I have ever experienced. That's why I say, I am better than fine. No regrets, no worries. In many ways, I could not have planned how my life has turned out any better. My HP did a great job on that one! So, heck yea!, I'm going to keep letting go and letting God!
I have no idea what to say to you. But I wanted to give you a HUG((((((((((((((((((((lauren))))))))))). You are truely a great sister. Let Hp guide you to what is the right thing to do. Keep yourself safe. I will pray for you and your bother.
