Well, I have 3 children at home.

I have to decide what really needs to be done.  I'm getting at boundries though.  I'd even get upset w/ them for continually asking for things or for me to do things.  I try to teach them to contribute to the household but that is difficult in my household when you have an emotion child in an adults body (my a) who not only shirks almost all responsibility but is worried more about having a peer relationship than a parental one.

I have to accept that I can't drive them to every function.  It's absolutely impossible to be in multiple locations at the same time.  I work with my network of friends and other parents and try to share rides.  Even that is met with resistance from my family at times.  I just have to learn that if they don't like it, they don't like it.  It doesn't mean I have to attempt to clone myself to get it done.

I have to learn to say no.  I have to learn my own boundries.  And I'm making progress and I'll never achieve perfection.

Bob

(((Aron))))

Welcome to the Wonder Mom Club! Misery loves company!

"Little Miss Perfect", thats what my husband called me, just to get me angry. Sad part wass, that was what I was striving for. With six plus kids, I was trying to make sure that everyone had a ride to everyplace on time. That everyone had a wonderful hot meal, that Mom was in the stands at every activity, and at every teacher conference and every PTA meeting. Even if that meant, going staying ten minutes getting in the car and going to the next place.

The house had to be beyond spottless. I didn't vaccuum once a day, I did it three times a day. I put toys away before the kids where finished playing with them. I wanted to make home made soup, homemade cakes, homemade everything. I even started washing the baby toys with Mouthwash every few days. I changed everyones sheets, washed everyones laundry. I took care of the dogs and the cats and the turtle and the rabbit and the hamster.

I tried splitting myslef into at least 7 different people. He was a drunk, but I was the best Mom in the world. I had a great yard. (I mowed it myself at night after work, by flashlight) I had a spotless house, I did homework, dishes, laundry and sat on committes. I also worked every day, and made sure I drove and chaperoned my childrens athletics and field trips. I cried in the hospital when I was having a C-section with my baby, becasue I was moissing my oldest daughters concert. I kept apologizing to her, and she just said "Mom, get real you where in the hospital." 

You could eat off my itchen fllor. but who would want to. I found out that their where no medals for Wonder Mom. No sense of satisfaction, just exhaustion and a lot of sanctimoniouse anger. Oh wait, I did get a Parent of the Month award from the Board of Education in our school system. At the award presentation, my one year old screamed, my four year old ran around and knocked people over, and my seven year old was dancing in the isles. I ran out of there frazzled, annoyed, and with a splitting head ache. Then my four year old hid and a security guard had to help me find them. To top it off they spelled my name wrong on the certificate. They called me an energizer bunny, a Mom so full of energy and capable of being in so many places at all times. They meant it as a complment. I saw it as fraud. I was exhausted, and irritated and miserable, and more miserable because "that no good so and so" didn't help no one did. I didn't let them. No one could do things as well as me.

I'm still compulsive, but I learned my children can do laundry. They understand if I cannot be at every game. Canned soup works fine for most nights,(though I now enjoy making homemade occasionally). Kids like boxed cereal and PopTarts. My carpet can survive with being vacuumed only once each day, and guess what the kids are capable of plugging in and pushing a vacuum.

They also can feed animals, do dishes, the older ones can do their own laundry, and the doors on their rooms do close it they are not as clean as I would like them. They also can push a lawn mower, and only kill a few of my flowers. My life got a lot easier when I realized, that no one, certainly not me, was Wonder Mom, and I stopped trying. It is a standing joke here. When I start to get rediculouse the kids call me Felix, and purposely move things out of place, to point out if I try and straighten them. They don't want me to be perfect either.

There is a Poem on a plaque my daughter gave me, it says it all;

Cleaning and Scrubbing 

Can wait til tomorrow,

For babies grow up,

We've learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs,

Dust go to sleep...

I'm rocking my baby,

and babies don't keep.....

Lighten up on yourself. Perfection is impossible and striving for it will only make you miserable.

                              love

                  definately not perfect 

                        Jeannie