My adult daughter and I haven't seen her dad (my AH) for several months. We decided together to invite him out for dinner tonight and made plans ahead of time about what would be "safe" topics to talk about with him and what topics we should try to avoid. We each brought a small gift for him for Christmas.

I was very worried about how things would go tonight, so I talked to my sponsor this afternoon. She suggested that I ask my HP to help guide me and to find the right words to say.

I'm happy to report that things went very well. My AH gave us each a small gift and a card as well. My daughter just called me to say that her dad wrote a very touching and thoughtful note in her card. He told her that he needs to make amends to her and that he is sorry for the pain he has caused to our family. It sounded very "AAish," but that's okay- maybe he's actually absorbing something during his court-ordered AA meetings.

He told me as we walked out of the restaurant that he is very lonely and that he misses me. I told him that I miss him too, but I didn't fall into telling him that he is lonely because of the choices he has made in his life lately (this is what the pre-program me would have said). I just listened to him and let him say what he needed to say. We hugged and said, "Merry Christmas" to each other and went our seperate ways.

I'm so glad that I didn't chicken out and change my mind about us meeting with him tonight. There is a real sense of serenity for me right now. I thank my HP, and my sponsor, for being there for me. I don't know what the future holds for my AH and I, but at least we are talking and being respectful tp each other. This is something that was not happening six months ago.