The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have reflected a lot about my past and have found that I do NOT listen to my inner voice when I should. My family taught me not to listen to my inner voice because my thoughts, feelings, and intuition were wrong. They distorted the truth to cover their guilt. My father (the A) always taught me to NEVER be dishonest, yet he was dishonest about the abuse he inflicted on our family. It is all coming together for me. I felt tremendous guilt about leaving my marriage and my ex and family used guilt tripping when I left. I remember the night my ex proposed. I did not right about it, but I thought it was the next step to take in my life so I agreed. He wanted to get married right away. We married six months later. I bought him a puppy for Easter. One night when our puppy was 5 months old, I made dinner and set it on the coffee table so we could watch TV while we ate. Our puppy wound up eating one of the steaks off the plate. My ex was so angry he kicked him down the steps. I remained quiet. I was in shock. I thought about what happened and continued to tell myself that I was making a mountain out of a mole hill out of what happened so I never said anything. This was the same thing I did when I was growing up. I saw my father try to kill my mother when I was 14. I never told anyone and I thought I would be making a mountain out of a mole hill if I let it bother me. This has been a recurrence in my life. It took me getting to Alanon to always listen to that inner voice because that is my HP talking to me. So finally I am listening! There are times I don't want to listen, but I remind myself about what happens when I don't and my HP knows what is best for me. Just wanted to share my story about one of the gifts I received from Alanon. Thanks.
You are a good person remember that. Tell yourself you deserve to be loved and respected. The first thing that struck me about your posting was the cruelty to the puppy. It has now been documented and researched that those who have the tendency to be violent towards animals do not have a conscience and end up taking their anger out on people at a later date. I am so glad that you found us and al-anon and you are here to tell the story. Luv Leo xx
That was a great post. Thanks for the reminder about listening to our inner voices. There are times when we get so caught up in life, that we forget how to be still and listen to it. I can't imagine hurting an animal. They give us nothing but unconditional love and ask for very little in return. Mine has been a great source of comfort to me.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
