The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am back at my lifeline support group where I belong :) The tears were so healing but I am exhausted. I want to say that I still miss dadrrb and he is in my heart with rememberances of all the good he did in this site. God Bless you dadrrb. I made an impulsive decision to go see my mom and dad tomorrow. My mom called today and something in her voice did not sound good. She has been failing with her alzheimers and it was if she was saying " I want my mommy(daughter) " but of course with her mom not alive I am going there to be with her and see what is up. She is so scared these days knowing her mind is failing her and it is gettin harder for her to do the simplest tasks. MY dad did not sound good either.I will be better visiting and seeing what is up. MY husband does try to be supportive but he comes up with the most hurtful things to say to me. He said, you act like a child regarding your mom, why don't you act like an adult. Well, how in the hell does he know how I should act? I just said, Did your mom act like a child when she took care of her mom? To try to put it in perspective. He said NO. He just is not able to emapthyze. Never has been able to me but he sure could with Little House on the Prairie and get teary eyed over that. I have been his punching bag too long not meaning I get hit because the kids and us never did hit each other. That was a boundary we all stuck too. My husband can sure throw out the verbal abuse but alanon has been helping me to cope with that. I am scheduled to go to an intake at a hospital WEd. for a treatment program for depression. I told my parents it is for my chronic pain which is partially true. They worry so much about me since 10 years ago I had a nervous breakdown. My husband is not the alcoholic in my life but he is a child of an alchoholic and acts like his dad all the time. He sure has not been the same person he was before our daughters 21 now alcoholism became it's worse. HE chooses not to do alanon either. Maybe this treatment program will have a family day. MY daughter's family day counselor tried to explain to him how angry he sounded and hour angry he looked all the time. That is not what he use to be like. Alcoholism changes the entire family and it sure has done a number on us. With my parent's health being so fragile and them living 2 hours away it is hard on me. I am the only child that can help them and I am disabled. I was a teacher and am still a teacher. I could start back anytime if my health were to permit it. MY teacher skills do help me take care of my parents my more too. Last week I told my husband I didnt want to live anymore!That is what prompted me to check into this treatment program and I have all my doctor's seals of approval. Anyone that prays,,,,well,,,,I sure could use prayers right now for God's will and his love and guidance in my life. I am so together at my parents house and then when I come back home I just drop/ exhuasted and with overwhelming feelings of how awful of a disease alzheimers is! I did not live close to my parents for the past 27 years so now I feel like I missed out on so much. Both their memories are not that good anymore either. I need prayers too to be able to make the deicisions well that need to be made for both of them. I use to say that life begins at 50 which will for me is nov. 19th. NOw i will be in a treatment program working on my not having a nervours breakdown. I felt like I was going to have one today when I thought I lost my lifeline! Thank God I didn't. I have so many close friends here whom I truly care about and thikn about and pray about. I will keep you in my prayers too while I am gone an may try to get in on my parents computer. Take care and God Bless.......cdb :)
You take good care of yourself. You're a good daughter whether or not you lived close to your parents. My father had dementia, and it was so hard to see him like that. They know that you love them. I'm proud of you for all you've done and all that lies ahead for you.
You'll be in our thoughts and prayers.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Everyday is a gift isn't it CDB?. How privileged your Mum and Dad are to have such a loving and caring daughter in their lives. Spend every precious moment you can with them without it being at the expense of your own health. I am so proud of you and the fact that you are now looking out for your own needs again. Your Mum and Dad could not have wished for a more wonderful daughter. Luv Leo xx
I hope the treatment program goes well, it is great you are taking these steps to help heal yourself. Give hubby up to HP, and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
cdb, my own mom was a victim of dementia, and I know how terrrible the disease is for the person affected, and how devastating it is for the loved ones watching the progression. Good for you for standing by your mom in her time of need.
Be well, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Hugs and prayers for you. Good for you for trusting your instinct and going to see your parents. I feel the same way, my dad called last night to report that mum (in the nursing home) is developing bedsores. Fortunately he is well enough to be her advocate and will be speaking with the staff about the situation. With your parents is where you need to be. After that, your treatment program. Way to take care of you!
Thank you all so much for you loving replies and prayers. I am already 2 hours behind. I had trouble waking up as usual. I changed my accupuncture appt. so I can leave wed. morning and then go right to my intake appt. I am going to give my hubby up to HP and my Marriage too. That seems hard for me. I have had so much hurt lately. I am going to miss my little kitten and big black cat too but they will keep my husband busy. The kitten got into the sos pads yesterday and thought they were a toy to push around and play with. He is such a blessing,,,,both cats are. I just trust that God will give me strength when I am there to do the things I need to and not be so fatigued and sleepy all the time. You all take care and God Bless. your friend in recovery, cdb :)
rosie 
