The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I didn't see the spat, but thanks Tom. You are sooo right! Some come here to get relief from that sort of thing in our homes, sure don't need it here!! Love in the program, TLC
Although I havent read what has transpired, I do however agree with you, and the other post "re: we have so much trouble at home etc, we dont need it here". People including myself come here for peace, support, and to practice the Alanon philosphy of helping those who have been affected by anothers addiction/alcoholism. Having said that, other than CAL (conference approved literature) should prmoted on this message board. Bringing in other literature etc, can lead to confusion and distort the true program of alanon or AA, for ones recovery. Lets keep it simple and lets keep it Alanon. Once we start swaying from the prime directive of this program things can and will get out of hand. New comers are fragile and they need stability, and trust that they are in the right place, so let us all keep it as such,,,Alanon.
The alanon family groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength , and "hope", in order to solve their common problems. We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid in recovery.
Alanon is NOT allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization or institution: does NOT engage in any controversy: endorses nor opposes any cause. There are no dues for membership. Alanon is self supporting through its own voluntary contributions.
ALANON HAS BUT ONE PURPOSE: TO HELP FAMILIES OF ALCOHOLICS. We do this by pracicing the 12 steps, bye welcoming and giving comfort to famileis of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.,,,,,,,gardengal
I understand an support your decision. We all have enough problems without fighting among oursleves. The members involved are longtime members, who have supported so many in the past. It is possible that they are just going through some bad times right now and that was the reason for the stubborness to end the fighting. I hope at some point in the future if all are willing, this can be put in the past and they may return. They will all be missed.
i don't know what happened and i don't want to know......i am glad these boards are being watched and that *posting wars* are not accepted....i hope the people involved can make amends and get back on track with lesson learned.....
i want to feel safe when i post my ups and downs....i've been in groups where *anything goes* and i have received some of the bad parts...AND it was tolerated by the moderators, and thus created an unsafe environment for me..in the course of taking care of me, i had to leave!!! that stunk!! ...i am glad you all are running a *tight ship* here because i SO want to stay........thank you/ rosie
While I missed what was going on, and I have no desire to know, thank you.
Can we all please be respectful of each other's feelings and foibles, even if we don't agree with each other all the time? The thing that I love the most about this site is the fact that I can get so many different POVs. I value immensely the opinions and experiences that are shared here. I may not always agree with them, but they're no less important or valuable to me. They help me think about my circumstances and how I learn and grow from them.
Life is too short, and too precious for this to continue.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
All I have experience here is not one op can ban anyone. It has to go to a meeting and be decided. plus the person is given a chance to apologize and comply to changing the behavior.
I mean is not that the goal of the board and every other alanon group? NO one is perfect, we all make choices we wish we hadn't.
We are all sick here in one plane or another from this horrible disease.
I feel like banning members who have been here a long time is inappropriate. This is said only if they are sorry for the behavior and will not allow it to happen again.
If someone came in and was totally off the wall and inappropriate, yes that is different. We gotta protect the integrity of the room
But to ban people who have been extremely important to many peoples path to recovery is, to me, a bit extreme.
i know even in my religious beliefs we would rather forgive a repentant person than to push them away. If we believe the Bible at all, the book AA got a lot of its sayings from, and guides from, love bears all things, hopes all things, does not keep account of injury and is forgiving.
I have always made love be my guide and it has never failed me, never.
I would never, ever send someone away when they feel passionate about something even if they seem wrong. i would let them talk, pay attention, then tell them how i felt, pointing out alanon traditions and all.
I am not sure who is involved but if it is who i believe they are, they are people who would rather change their behavior than to be just thrown away.
IF anything, i feel they should have been given a time limit to decide if they want to come back and change the behavior before they are banned.
I have seen John go back and forth with the person, doing his best to teach and work it out. Been here almost six years almost daily. learned all i have from this board, meetings and the chat room.
Yes it would be nice if we could all get along, but it is a pipe dream ,we are all imperfect people, peoples personalities clash. The important thing is to learn from it and be a better person. NO one learns unless things are hard.
I have worked with gang kids and all kinds of at risk kids. They don't fit in society either. But I would rather guide them to change behavior, than to see our prisons being full and not having enough of them.
So tired of this throwaway society. I am sure there are things i don't know. But i do know one person and i am sure she would rather apologize than be banned.
Debilyn... I'm pretty sure it was a "block" not a ban. Just long enough to make it stop and the offending posts be removed so the board could continue on it's merry way :)
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I too was told they are banned. If there is any way to sort this out and come to a compromise, I hope it can be done. Isn't there a way to put this in the past and allow them to return?
I have no clue what's been going on, but I'm glad we have a moderator who helps to keep this a safe place to share. We cannot be honest if we don't feel safe, and though I don't post a lot, I know I can, and I like to feel that security. Some of us don't really have any other safe haven. So thanks...
