The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. --D. H. Lawrence
Sometimes when we feel sorry for ourselves we will sit alone in our bedroom. We may even feel so down in the dumps that we decide to stay there, indulging in self-pity, thinking about how the world is against us. However, if we use our imagination to step outside our own point of view for a moment, we might think differently. If we were deer in the forest, we would be thinking about keeping safe from the wolves, and where our next meal would be coming from.
########ROSIE.....oh yeah, when i would get "down" i would isolate/ lie in bed and dream my life away, "being in my other happy life".....and the pity parties??? oh i was the consumate martyr..i wanted pity/ sympathy...and i fed on it.....i wanted the WORLD to feel sorry for me......and today??? yes, i want compassion/ validation, but i focus NOT on the "what happened to me" but the SOLUTION.....as i learn to focus on ME...i naturally focus on the solution.....for years i vented about the perp...i couldn't get over the "hump of hate" but getting into recovery and having tools with SOLUTION to work with, i was able to discharge the horrendous pain/ outrage/ grief emotions and get to the point where i was *post flood* and work on the solution......focusing on *how do i take care of me NOW???*
The animals have no time to feel sorry for themselves, they are too busy doing what has to be done to survive, and each thing that happens presents a new survival problem to be solved. When we feel blue, it helps to keep this in mind. If we have the time to feel down, and can get physically comfortable while doing it, how bad can the problem really be?In what ways is my life comfortable, easy, and full of love?
######ROSIE.....yeah, i am too busy taking care of me/ working my own inventory....i don't have TIME to sit and *pee and moan* and as life events occur.....yes, i allow the feelings...i allow the emotions to come up....but then, after i discharge the feelings, than comes the "OK, WHAT do i do???" "what options do i have???"...sometimes the only option is to do a step 3 and WALK AWAY........animals do not have emotions like we do, but this analogy really hits the mark as to how much i used to focus on the *problem over the solution* i am becomming more of a *solution* person as i recover.....i will never, however, stuff my feelings....i wil always allow my feelings.........when i feel down, i do my step 4 work, and sometimes its just my body saying "HEY i need to rest/ quiet down"........thank you DONE
