The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello all, I come to you with very sad news that many of you will feel on a personally level. Daddrrb died this morning. What a horrible disease this is. With Txmom's permission I am posting here asking you all to offer ES&H to her. I know others in here have been where she is right now and right now is when she needs to hear what you did and what gave you some clarity, serenity and understanding. If you pray, please do so for our friend.
((((Txmom))))) I'm so sorry for your loss and am feeling the sadness myself, as dad made me laugh many times. I've not lost a spouse, but have lost achild. There is no easy way through this. Time does heal and lessens the pain. Lean on HP as best you can. I have no idea why things happen as they do. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that dad is free of pain and this awful disease. He brought many of us laughter and will be missed.
Christy (Cjo)
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and will keep you in my prayers that God offer you comfort, peace and love during your time of heartache.
Although, I didn't have anyone I lost to the disease of Alcoholism, I guess you can say that I lost 5 nieces and nephews, as well as their Dad, my brother-in-law at the time to the disease of addiction. Although, we can never prove it was drug related, I am pretty certain it had been. All died in a fire at a young age... The difficulty in accepting such young children dying in a fire was beyond my understanding and I asked God why, especially children that He had given to this world for a time. My youngest niece was 4, my nephew-6, my two twin nephews-9, and the oldest niece-- 12. Additionally, their father two weeks later having died from smoke induced complications after we took him out of a coma.
Having seen the life these children led that was so sad and painful with their parents on drugs, their Dad as well, it made much more sense to me why God had called them back home. It was this experience that actually strengthened my belief in God because what I realized is that God cared enough to take these children back home and not allow them to suffer the pain that they suffered while in this world. Oh, yeah... it hurt really bad to think of how the children are gone-- but when I focus on how much pain they were in while living in this world-- emotional and psychological, I realize that God saved them from a life that could have grown to be MUCH worse with pain and suffering.
Since then, I tend to look at someone dying as a way of God taking them away from their pain and not necessarily away from their loved ones. We always have the memories to hold in our heart and God will ALWAYS allow us to have those memories as gifts, until it is our time to be with the people we love so deeply again. Until then though, God offers us Him to gain strength and comfort in Him. He understands our pain and tears, just as he understands the pain and tears of those who are suffering or feel that they are living a life of hell here on earth. We never know what a heart holds in their relationship with God and all we can do is trust that the people we've lost had that relationship with God and He took them home to have peace with Him-- No more tears for them, no more pain..... Keep that in mind. For you, hold onto God and know that He feels any pain in this loss and will see you through.
My prayers are with you that God offers you complete comfort and peace during this time. HUGGGGGSSSSS
My thoughts and prayers are with you. So sorry for your loss. I have missed seeing dad in the early hours before I leave for work. I will miss his humor and good thoughts. Take care of yourself.
((Txmom)) Remember your HP is with you, you can count on it!. In situations like yours, I have found it comforting to keep the Serenity Prayer running in the back of my head over and over. Rely on those around you, accept help and try to remember the good times, too. It will get better. With sympathy for your loss, Jill
"All rivers come, at last, .... to the Sea. All pain comes, at last, ... to Peace. All fear comes, at last, ... to Love. All spirit comes, at last, home again ... to God."
With deepest sympathy to you and your family, Karilynn
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I am so sorry for your loss hon. I was in shock when I first read it. I am praying right now for you and your daughter. Know that I/we love you very much. Keep coming to share with us, we who understand perhaps better than few others can. I only wish I were closer to you in distance so that I could be there for you to offer support, a hug, a friend to cry with. I know it's too soon but I hope you will still come to the conference with us all. Maybe your daughter can use the other ticket and come be with all us family. We would love to be able to share with you and help you in any way we can.
Sometimes I'm sorry does not feel like enough in a situation as this. If there's anything I can do, please tell me.
love,
Maria
__________________
If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
I do know dad wasnt happy with me and i am not even sure i should be posting here. I thought i could give some esh. I am dealing with the death of my mother, she died in april and you have helped me with it mom. One thing you said to me and it stuck and it has helped me since you said it. I remember coming into the room being really upset and you pmed me. You let me vent about how angry i was at hp, and why my mom had to die so fast, and how she never took care of herself and she didnt care. I was going on and on and you just listened to me. You told me that hp had probably given my mother the time to take care of herself and she chose not to. I remember that now and you are right if i think back he did. My mother didnt die peacefully, and even though we said some sorries. I cared for her and ive never shared all this. I didnt stop fighting with her, I spent the last 6 years of her life, yelling at her resenting her because she was a great grandmother, and not a good mother. She kind of crossed me on her death bed. To save fights she prefered if i didnt stay in the end, just go down and give her what she needs and then go back upstairs to where i lived. I stopped doing that when i realied it was near the end. It hurt for her to tell me that though it really did. Anyway mom i realized that the yelling and all that happened, me yelling and me being so angry,and now she is gone out of pain and what am i left with? And more important to me now who am i going to yell at :(. I wanted to knwo the whys and hows and should ofs and could ofs..... I wanted the answers... Why did this happen, why couldnt she just take care of herself, and not have been so selfish. Would it be different if i didnt add so much stress on her? I can go on and on with these. I realize they dont matter and those questions will never be answered, maybe when we pass they will. OR maybe i will learn the answers to those questions as i get older. I dont feel so guilty anymore, i didnt walk in my mothers shoes i dont know what it was like to be her. In so much emotional pain... that she didnt know how to care for herself, the pain took over. I can learn from my mothers death here. And instead of regretting the things i didnt do, i can change the way my life is now and take care of my health and my children. I can break this cycle the disease of alcoholism because i know better. Her death makes me want to be better makes me want to fight, instead of giving in to the pain. I want to heal, she gave me that. Its hard to be in the disease and think calmly and always do the right thing. I know that even though our relationship wasnt the best, that she loved me jsut didnt know how to show it. She died knowing that. I know she is with me always. (((((((((((txmom))))))))))))))) love you. BE gentle on yourself.
kerry
__________________
Life can only be understood backwards, But it must be lived forwards
The loss of my uncle this week has been hard on me. The only thing that keeps me from crying all day is that he is finally at peace and he is out of pain. I keep saying this to my self!!
With much love and respect towards your husband and his struggle with this disease, I offer prayers to you and your family. I enjoyed his sense of humor, and will miss him very much. His struggle with the pain of the disease is over. I am very glad I got to meet him even if it was only in the chat room, he taught me alot about compassion for the alcoholic. Best Wishes to you and your family, Love SenoraBob.
__________________
Higher Power doesn't always wrap presents in pretty paper.
Oh (((((((((((((Regina)))))))))))))) I am so sorry. What a loss for us all, in tears reading this. Trina asked us for ESH... what esh do I have? none i feel.... but I mourn with you and I hope you don't isolate away, I hope you come back and talk with us as soon as you are able and allow us to share this grief with you. Wishing I could give you a real hug. Please know we all love you and care so much.
Kis
__________________
Let your light shine in the darkness. "I can't just bring my mind to meetings...I must also bring my heart."
(((((((((((((((((txmom))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) im very sorry for your loss. hp will help you through this. i will miss dad as well, when i first came here was very depressed and he was one of the ones that got me through. my prayers are with you and your family. tc
__________________
stay in the now...dont look forward, dont look back....your life is what you make of it
TXMOM I am so sorry for your loss, but life will go on and we will still be here when you are ready. Many of us loved you both and Dad's humor will be missed by many. I hope you find peace and know that I am still here for you to talk to.
josey
__________________
Julianne - It's best to move on. You cannot look back in anger in life. It's too short
I dont think we have "met", but I spoke with Dad several times in the chat room. I am so sad and shocked to hear that he has died.
My heart goes out to you in your loss. Please know that you have many friends here in MIP, and I hope, in time, you will be able to come back and share with us.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I too wish I was closer and could be there for you now. We all love you and are here for you, especially at this time. Lean on your friends, family, and HP for love and strength.
I am so in shock. I don't know what to share with you. Nothing will be enough I know. OMG I'm so so so sad. I prayed for yall. I'm so sorry. Know that my heart is with you and your family. I'm sending you prayers that God's comfort will be yours thru this hard time. Please come back to the room and be with us when you feel up to it.
Prayers going out to you now with the loss of your husband and who I considered to be a very good friend. ((((((((((dad)))))))))) I didn't even know until recently that you two were connnected. Dad had me guess recently who his wife was and I picked everyone but you. He got a kick out of it since your name has tx in it and that was a clue he gave me. I remember him talking about his wife and daughter, before realizing it was you, and saying how he loved you both a whole lot. He sure helped me in my struggle with my daughter's alcoholism too. I will always remember the care and concern he showed me when I was hurting so badly and how he was in the room for me late at night when I needed some support from someone who really understood the disease of alcoholism, which he did. I will truly miss him as I had been waiting for him to return back to the room the same as he always had been.
Once again, my heart goes out to you and your family as you grieve the loss of your husband. Know that he touched so many lives at this chat room and he gave his time lovinly for the cause of alcoholism.((((((((((txmom,daughter)))))))) cdb
I missed out on the privilege of meeting your husband. I can tell by the number of people posting how loved he truly was by everyone here. You and your daughter are in my thoughts. Luv Leo xx
I really didn't interact with your husband much but I am sorry to hear of your loss. Take care of yourself and come back to the board when you feel you are ready. Loss of a loved one is one of the hardest things in life to deal with. It takes a lot of time to readjust.
I am so very sorry to hear of your husband's passing. My sister almost passed a while back and the pain was unbareable. The only thing I knew how to do was talk about it and pray about it. And got lots of hugs from my children. Even though I do not know you, I am praying for you and your daughter. (((((((((((((Txmom, daughter))))))))))))
My sincerest sympathy to you and your daughter. I was so shocked and saddened to hear of Dad's passing. I know him from the early morning hours. I will miss him and also hope to have the occasion to talk to you sometime.
To all of my wonderful dear MIP friends, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am so touched by your words I can't even express how much it means. Robert was a really wonderful person. A flawed person, a person with a horrible disease but a man that loved his wife and children very much. We are in shock. We will miss him so much but we know that he is in a much better place now and that the grip that this disease has always had on him exists no more. He has a freedom now he's never had before. I'm hurting but I'm trying to stay focused on the good things about him and the blessings I still have so that I don't get too involved in the joys I no longer have. I want you all to know that Robert loved the people on this site. He knew while drinking and coming here was a mistake he couldn't undo. He loved you all nontheless.
Thanks so much everyone. Knowing (as Haxi said) that you all have my back means the world. Keep those prayers headed our way!!
I only knew dad a short time and he made me laugh and feel good about myself for the first time in ages. I was so sad when i read this posting. My hearfelt love to you and your family. I will pray for you all.
((((((Txmom))))) Wow all I can say is I am sososososoooo sad about dad ((Robert))) HE was encreditable Person with a Great heart a willing heart to deal with his dieases . Dad had no Idea how much he touched my life with my recovery he had a great sense of humor and his es&h really touch me it was just what I need to hear at the time!!!
My mother died 4 years ago from this horrible dieases and I watched her from being this beautiful person to this fragil and helpless person It was encreditable sad to watch this horrible diease killer so slowly and I could not help her in anyways!!! I lost my ((((newborn son)))) 12 yrs ago at birth.... I truely share your pain txmom I truely do. As others have shared time does heal.
Txmom if you need to talk I am here for you.... I would like to help you in anyways I can.....
(((((((((((((((Txmom)))))))))))) my heart and prayers are with you and your family!!
