The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday I went to an alanon meeting so I had the car. I had a really good meeting. Got home and his grown son told me that my husband was gone for over and hour and that he didn't have his cell phone. Well I was a little upset because I knew I couldn't call him. But I said to my self there is nothing I can do. His son and me did look up a family he might of been out but I thought it would be best not to call him. That would only make him more mad and make me look bad and then I will never know where he would go. Well any way I shut the kitchen light, turn on one of the dvds I had and started to watch it. I called people on the phone so I wouldn't have to think that he was not home. I was hoping he wasn't getting in to trouble. But I knew at that time I couldn't do anything because I wasn't with him. I knew he would have to come home he was by foot so he couldn't gone that far. Well at least I hope. My husband can walk. I have in the past gone looking for him. Get really upset when I couldn't find him. Since he didn't have his phone I would normal be panicking, and I wasn't like to the extreme I used to. I was much calme. I told his grown son not to make his fathers coffee and we weren't going toput away some food that his father said he was going to but away. I lock the door.
He did come home about an hour after I got home. He told me that because he forgot his phone he was trying to use the pay phone and he had to kept putting money in. He was getting angry. He wanted to call 411 but end up calling 911. The cops came and gave him a hard time but they end up giving him a ride home.
-- Edited by nycbt at 10:56, 2005-10-14
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Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
You know, here is a quote I use OFTEN in my relationships...
"worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It is a great way to pass the time, but in the end, you haven't gotten anywhere."
WOrks for me. I do the same thing, put on a movie, start to draw or read with the kids, rearrange the living room, go shopping.... anything to stop the incessant nagging feel that if i just knew where he was, or what he was doing, I could have some control over the situation... HA!!
Good for you!! It is so hard--the not knowing. But you are so right, there really isn't anything we can do. I know it was difficult to do nothing, but you can be proud of yourself!!
I too call friends to keep me busy, my one girlfriend knows exactly why I call and she is so good, we will talk about everything and nothing. Hang in there, your doing great!
You are doing good. Sounds like you and stepson can relate. I have done those things, sigh, phoned the friends I thought A might be with, just, in the end, drove myself nuts.
You finding some recovery, thank you for sharing, this will help others, specially newbies, to see the futility of trying to control the A in their lives.
Glad it worked out - you know - the Alkis? always find their way home, in the end (:
