The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My husband entered rehab 2 weeks ago in a 90 day program. We rely on letters to talk. I don't have any family in the country and relied on him a lot...too much I am finding out. My anxiety is at an all time high, and while going to a group once a week is helpful, it doesn't cure the lonely nights and affection he showed me while at home. I am very overwhelmed by all of this and while I know where he is is a lot better for both of us, and he will learn a lot, it still leaves me alone. Call it selfish, but I just need to find ways to cure this slump that I am in. I have dealt with depression for a few years and was finding with the help of meds it was under control, until he left. I don't miss the my husbands old behavior, I just miss him being there to talk to & such. It is also scary to think how he will be when he comes out of rehab, true he will just be a new and improved him, but I don't know how I am going to take it, will he still love me? Or did the addict inside him like me? Bah, sorry for the rant I just need some guidance with this. Perhaps some good book suggestions will help. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
So many of us have been right where you are, feeling that loneliness when things start to change.
The first Al-Anon book I recieved was "How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics". I read it over two evenings. I devoured it. It shed so much light on my life with an Alcoholic...and my life in general!
You can order them from the WSO directly now in paperback for $5 or maybe your group has a copy you can purchase.
I highly recommend it. Great way to fill the quiet time and learn!
copy and paste this link and it should take you to the book.
i have been in your position and can honestly say today that when my partner went to rehab it was the best thing for both of us. I was addicted to him just as he was to alcohol. it was like i went through a withdrawal i too was very lonely all of a sudden i had no one elses life to focus on except my own.. i began to see how my life had revolved around him and trying to fix him. i also saw how i hd been expecting a very ill person to meet all of my needs. in tim i started to focus on me. He was working on himself, I started going to more meetings, readin more going out with mates re connecting with famiy. Basically started living my life again. He is out of ehab now and livig with me again it is still a daily battle to focus on my life and leAVE HIS TO HIM.
I hope you take this time to get to know you hp puts us where we need to be, take what you like and leavethe rest xx
-- Edited by Tracy on Tuesday 21st of June 2011 01:28:22 PM
I am so glad you are here. I wanted to welcome you as others have to MIP. I do so hope you continue to post here and take a look around. This is a good place to vent at all hours of the day and night. We don't mind one bit.
When I was in a relationship with an active A, I found that one meeting a week was never enough to sustain me and keep me going. As the opening states... "Without such spiritual help, living with an alcoholic is too much for most of us..." I'm grateful that I live in a place where I have access to an Al-Anon meeting every day of the week, if needed. And if there's not al Al-Anon meeting available, I could also get over to an open AA meeting - alcoholism is a family disease so we're just as welcome at an AA meeting as we are at an Al-Anon meeting.
Even now, though I'm no longer in a relationship with an active A, I still find at times that one meeting a week is sometimes not enough.
As was mentioned earlier, this program thankfully has a lot of other avenues for recovery. There's literature available, and there's also sponsorship where we can connect regularly with another member and share our experience, strength and hope and grow together.
Getting some people to contact from the meetings can be a great thing in between meetings. Coming here helps too. Welcome here! learning to concentrate on ourselves is so hard, but so much worth it! Keep coming !!!
__________________
-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
